Eddie's Word Turnings

Blog has been moved.

2011-05-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

This blog was moved to a permanent location. You can read current postings at http://www.eddiesnipes.com.

New helps and tips article is posted every Tuesday. Various postings will magically appear as I get the urge to throw something online.

Authentic Leadership

2010-12-09T10:28:00.000-08:00

Teaching my kids the meaning of true leadership is a challenge in a culture where poor examples get kudos, and honor is overlooked. Politicians lead by observing trends, and running ahead of the crowd. Celebrities and athletes gain popularity through public displays of immorality and foolish choices. Businesses exalt employees who conform to the current mindset, and sacrifice honesty for gain. These arenas rarely provide examples of authentic leadership; in fact, most examples of leadership are from those who lead by following the trend of the moment.

When my kids were young, they followed a boy who led the group into mischief. They excused their behavior by saying, “Everyone was doing it.”

This is the worst possible excuse. I explained, “A true leader does what is right, even if they have to stand alone.”

Elijah stood alone, and became an enemy of the state. Jeremiah stood alone, and lamented over the scorn he had to endure. Those who hated Jeremiah said that he was a discourager and weakened the hand of the people, yet, seventy-years later, the people found encouragement from the words of Jeremiah as they waited for restoration from the Lord.

Anyone can follow the shifting mindset of the culture, but leaders stand as lights anchored to truth as they point to the right way. An authentic leader influences others to stand upon the word of God, but they also accept that they may rarely find glory on this side of eternity. It is easy to follow the counterfeit leadership the culture praises. Few, however, have the courage to stand in the face of criticism.

Some churches are abandoning truth, and critical of those who will not sway. This trend confronted Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German Lutheran pastor who participated in the German Resistance Movement against Nazism. He spoke before an auditorium of pastors and criticized the church’s cooperation with Hitler. As he spoke, pastors walked out in protest. By the end of the speech, he addressed an empty auditorium. Despite his many shortcomings, history testifies in favor of this man’s willingness to stand for what was right.

All leaders are motivated by something, whether it is the desire for praise, the desire for gain, fear of rejection, or eternal truth. A Charismatic leader may influence others, but an authentic leader does what is right regardless of consequences. In the end, a leader’s success is measured, not by the number of followers gained, but based on the truth upon which they stand.

Martin Luther, while being tried for his faith, pointed to the scriptures and uttered the famous words, “Here I stand, I can do no other.” His faithfulness to truth inspired many to return to the word of God. Our ultimate example is Christ, whose life testified to His words. Let us lead by standing on truth as we look to the Author and Finisher of our faith. We are all leaders, if we stand upon truth, and do what is right.

Eddie Snipes

This blog is soon to move to http://blog.eddiesnipes.com

Computer Humor

2010-11-20T21:18:00.000-08:00

Some computer humor for your Geek side.

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper20computer store.. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about
buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............

Name the silly movie quotes.

2010-11-16T17:44:00.000-08:00

Are you a movie buff? Here are six movie quotes. Can you name them without googling them? Post your answers as comments. Hint, they are from highly intellectual movies. Okay, I lied. But the next ones will rise above the male glass ceiling.

1. "Yeah, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her enough or something. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention."

2. You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line

3. "You want me to strap her to the hood?...She'll be fine. It's not as if it's going to rain or something."

4. When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

5. Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.

6. Sir, the truth is I talk to God all the time, and no offense, but He never mentioned you.

A Mom's Meltdown

2010-11-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

One advantage writers have is that every situation is viewed through the eyes of our internal writer. Frustrations, heartaches, joys, and all other events of daily life find their places on our ‘to write’ list. The truth is, smooth sailing doesn’t make for good reading. So when someone tells me a frustrating story, internally I’m wringing my hands and saying, “This is going to be great on paper!” Not that I don’t feel sympathy, but it quickly fades when my devious writer begins to emerge.

Such a story crossed my path the other day. A friend we’ll call Jane had a difficult day not long ago. Jane drove down the road in her brand new SUV. The new car smell still hung in the air. Her three boys were cutting up in the back – as boys often do. One was eating hard candy. Knowing hard candy and whooping and hollering don’t mix well, she said, “You need to calm down while eating that. Or you’ll get choked.” Her warning held his attention for about twenty-five seconds.

Less than a minute later, she heard a gagging sound, and sure enough, her little boy was choking on the candy. Before she could respond, his internal bodily functions solved the problem. The candy was dislodged when he threw up all over the back seat of her new car. A new smell hung in the air. The neighborhood was now in view, so she rushed to get home to clean out her brand new SUV.

Jane’s second son suffers from a very sensitive gag reflex. The sight of his brother puking had a spontaneous response. You guessed what happened next. Just as Jane turned into her neighborhood, boy number two began to spew. Oh, if she hadn’t fed them a kids meal on the way home. Now Jane rolled down all the windows. Partly to clear the smell, and partly to give her boiling rage a place to escape.

While she shouted at her son for not listening and causing all of this, her four year old notified her of his eminent eruption. The sights and odors made him sick and he started to gag. That was it! Jane slammed on the brakes and skidded to a stop. Screaming like a woman possessed, she snatched her youngest from his car seat and deposited him on the curb. She reached in and jerked the other two out, shouting loud enough for the world to hear as she did. Then a wonderful idea hit Jane. She could just leave them where they stood.

Over the sound of her screeching tires, she could hear little voices crying, “Mommy, don’t leave me!”

The SUV whipped into the driveway, and she stepped out. Still screaming, she yanked open the doors of the vehicle to air it out. Then the world around her came back into view. Her husband was on the porch with a look that said, “Have you gone completely mad?” Curious neighbors stepped outside to see why three boys were wailing at the top of their lungs while running down the street toward her house. A house where mom stood outside of her car with two fists full of hair.

Well, there goes my Christian witness. This is how a real homeschool family works.

When I told this story to my wife, she laughed evilly. “At least it’s not just me,” she said. “And at least I’ve never left the kids on the side of the road.”

Yep, our nuclear meltdowns only happen indoors, and she just bangs their heads on the floor. Okay, not really. But I know she has thought it a time or two. And I just bang my own head on the floor. When the neighbors ask about that banging sound, I shake my hair out from between my fingers and say, “It’s just the sound of my Christian witness.”

If you have been moved with conviction by this testimony, feel free to confess in the comments below. We promise not to laugh. Okay, you’re right. We will laugh, but we promise to laugh with you.

Eddie Snipes

Author Interview - Erin Rainwater

2010-11-13T19:22:00.000-08:00

How long have you been writing?

A girlfriend and I began co-authoring a book about twin girls and their horses when we were in grade school. We never finished it, and I have no idea what happened to it, although I’m pretty sure it ended up in the landfill. My next writing effort didn’t come until I was in my thirties when I began writing historicals set in the 1860s, my favorite time period in American history. But I was an ICU nurse with a husband and four kids, so writing wasn’t exactly a full-time profession. In two decades I wrote two novels. I self-published them in 2006, and am happy with how they continue to sell and with the extraordinary feedback I continue to receive from readers.

What challenges did you encounter in your journey to getting published?
I know someone who calls query letters “invitations for rejection.” I’ve accumulated TNTC (Too Numerous To Count) over the years. Another challenge is length. Refining Fires started out as a short story, but it seems I’m incapable of such a thing. “Short” and “story” constitutes an oxymoron as far as I’m concerned.

What motivates you to write?

I have only one motivating factor, and that is the story itself. When an idea comes, and grows, and I can’t stop it, and it simply must come out, that is my motivation. I’m not what other authors would consider “disciplined” in that I don’t write at the same time every day. Sometimes I don’t even write for long periods at a time, because I don’t write unless I have that spark inside that says I must. I’ve never written under a deadline. I once met with an agent at a conference, and we discussed my novel about a nurse during the Civil War. He wasn’t too interested, and asked if I’d be willing to write about a nurse in the Iraq War. I said no, because I had no passion to do that. I love historicals, and that’s what I write. Some might say I was stupid to say I won’t write a certain setting or time period if someone like an agent shows interest in it, but I believe that if I write something I have no passion for, my stories won’t come across as powerful and personal as readers are telling me they do.

I understand you had a book released recently. Tell me a little about your book.
It’s titled Refining Fires. It’s unique in that it’s in three parts, each with distinct main characters, although God weaves their lives together into a tapestry that glorifies Him. The first story, “Refining Fire,” is a love story between a disfigured veteran and a nurse with a ruined reputation. He tosses her out, but his anger is no match for her pluck, and her determined efforts elicit renewed life from his body while evoking a raw yearning in his soul. “Blind Courage” introduces a young girl who must act courageously in the face of tremendous challenges and overwhelming fear to save her mother’s life. The third is the story of a “Kept Woman,” of how she got to that point, and of “Who” has been keeping her all along. Paths cross and lives intertwine, showing how God’s hand is ever on us, leading and refining.

What do you hope the reader takes away from your book?

The title, Refining Fires, is taken from a verse in Isaiah that says:“Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” The characters each go through a refining process in their own particular furnace of affliction. My desire is that these stories will show how when our faith is tested, God provides the courage and tools we need to persevere, achieve victory, and come out refined.

What was your best decision as a writer?
I have two really. One was joining a critique group, who’ve turned out to be invaluable to me, and I hope I have been to them. I’ve heard crit group horror stories, but mine is the best. My other great decision was joining the Military Writers Society of America. The Society members are such a supportive bunch, and there is a camaraderie there you only get among military-connected folk. Not to mention they awarded my Civil War-set novel, True Colors, the 2009 Gold Medal in Historical Fiction.

What is your greatest success?

Always, always I feel great success when a reader says they loved my stories and gained courage or hope from them, or that my characters were inspirational to them. Nothing like it.

You can purchase Erin's book, Refining Fires by clicking below.

Book Review - Written in Blood

2010-11-12T21:37:00.000-08:00

If you are a true crime fan, Written in Blood is a good read. Diane Fanning has a very clear and thorough writing style.

Michael Peterson was a very successful novelist. As the drama of two suspicious deaths unfold, people begin wondering if Peterson’s ability to spin a story also applies to his real life dramas.

Peterson was a decorated Vietnam veteran, multi-published author, father, and respected member of the community. When his wife has a tragic accident, the pieces don’t add up, and soon a similar death from his past emerges. With little physical evidence, no witnesses, and high powered lawyers, investigators fight through the confusion to determine the evidence. Add to this, his ex-wife gives a positive testimony on his character, and one of the world’s most respective forensic blood analysis experts testifying on his behalf. Yet each one has inconsistencies which convolute the case. It all adds up to a real world story with all the makings of a fiction novel.

Diane Fanning does an excellent job of bringing all the history, testimonies, and events together so the reader can digest it and follow this complicated case.

On the Word Turnings scale of 10,

Readability and reader interest – 9

Content – 8

Plot or Book Theme – 9

Overall Word Turning Value: 8.7

You can buy this book at Amazon by clicking here.

Review of Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

2010-06-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

It’s not often I give five star reviews, but this book is well deserving of it. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy is a must read for every Christian. I was struck by the similarities between the path of compromise, which the church took in the 1930s, that opened the door for Hitler’s rise, and the similar thought among liberal theologians today. While Hitler probably would have come to power without the church’s cooperation, he clearly would not have had the influence among the German people without the endorsement of the German Church. The spiritual void left in the hearts of the people when the church abandoned the foundation of scripture was quickly filled by the Reich doctrines that were introduced by the church. Without a solid spiritual foundation, the people had little discernment by which to identify the errors being propagated by the Nazi regime, and there were few willing to make a stand in the church.

Many of the misconceptions about Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s life were cleared up by this book. Much of the book quoted directly from the letters of Dietrich and those close to him. Bonhoeffer’s love for the scriptures and unwillingness to abandon the truth made him an effective minister to the few people willing to acknowledge the dangerous path the nation was heading down. It also gave him the wisdom to accurately predict the actions of Hitler and the Nazi’s long before they openly made their plans known. His words, teachings, and lifestyle gave me a new found respect for this man.

Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy is a lengthy book, but never once lost my interest. This book is a MUST read, and for those who will heed its warning, it serves as a reminder not to repeat history. The church is the gatekeeper of the culture, and if she doesn’t stand true to the Bible, there is little to restrain evil.

On the Word Turnings scale:

Readability and reader interest – 9

Content –10

Plot or Book Theme – 9

Overall Word Turning Value: 9.3

Eddie Snipes

To buy this book, click on the link below. If you are a Kindle user, the book is only $9.99.

Funny and odd newspaper headlines

2010-06-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

1. Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better

2. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years

3. Child's stool great for use in garden

4. Cold wave linked to temperatures

5. Dealers will hear car talk at noon

6. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

7. Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984

8. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

9. Eye drops off shelf

10. Farmer Bill Dies in House

11. Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

12. House passes gas tax onto senate

13. If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

14. Iraqi head seeks arms

15. Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?

16. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests

17. Man is fatally slain

18. Milk drinkers are turning to powder

19. Miners refuse to work after death

20. Never withhold herpes from loved one

21. Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

22. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

23. Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

24. Queen Mary having bottom scraped

25. Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

26. Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency

27. Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

28. Squad helps dog bite victim

29. Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan

30. Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

31. Two Soviet ships collide - one dies

32. War dims hope for peace

33. William Kelly was fed secretary

Really Dumb product Warning labels

2010-06-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

1. Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.

2. On a carpenter's electric drill: "This product is not intended for use as a dentist drill!"

3. On a baby stroller: "Remove child before folding."

4. On a handheld massager: "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious."

5. On a laser print cartridge: "Do not eat."

6. On a household iron: "Never iron clothes while they are on your body."

7. On a fireplace log: "Caution, risk of fire."

8. On children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery."

9. On package of peanuts: "Warning, contains nuts."

10. On a chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

12. On new camera: "This camera only works when there is film inside."

13. On can of self-defense pepper spray: "Warning do not spray at people."

Letter from a marine recruit

2010-06-04T16:08:00.000-07:00

(NOW AT San Diego MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and

Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.. Tell them to join up quick before all of
the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc.., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant,pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us... If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake ... I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

Love as the source for works.

2010-05-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

Works in the Christian life is a topic most are familiar with. I want to look at one important misconception of works. Often it is taught that salvation is by grace, through faith, plus works. Yet the Bible says if we seek grace by works, it is no longer grace. Also consider Romans 9:31-32

³¹ but Israel, pursuing the law of righteousness, has not attained to the law of righteousness.
³² Why? Because they did not seek it by faith, but as it were, by the works of the law. For they stumbled at that stumbling stone.

Israel pursued the righteousness of God by trying to keep commandments, yet they missed the grace of God. In fact, grace became a stumbling stone that caused them to fall. In Galatians, the Church attempted to please God by keeping the ordinance of circumcision, thinking their works would please God, yet they were told, “You have fallen from grace.” The problem was that they shifted their focus from faith in Christ, to needing to do something extra by their own efforts.

It is true that God does not save us so we can live contrary to his will, but we also must realize that those who belong to Christ will be judged by their works. Not judged for their salvation, but for their reward. Consider 1 Corinthians 3:11-15

¹¹ For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
¹² Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw,
¹³ each one's work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is.
¹⁴ If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward.
¹⁵ If anyone's work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.

Even those without works will be saved, but there is no reward. This is why the Bible warns us not to fall into the trap of Esau, who sold his inheritance for a bowl of stew. Esau had a birthright and would have inherited a lifetime of benefits, but he despised his inheritance and chose to give it up for a moment of gratification. We make the same decision in our daily Christian walk. We can sell our inheritance for a moment of gratification in this life, or we can sacrifice the cravings of our flesh and reach for the promise.

Works do not justify man. Works cannot justify man. God has declared that he will not allow any flesh to glory in his presence. Anything you do for God is wood, hay, and straw. Jesus said that the flesh cannot produce the things of the Spirit. What is born of flesh is flesh, that which is born of Spirit is spirit. That means, by human effort, we can never please God. The same principle that applies to the world trying to merit salvation also applies to the Christian trying to merit rewards.

Fruitless works are what we do for God; precious works are what God produces in us. Look at the words of Jesus in John 15:4-5

⁴ "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
⁵ "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
…
⁷ "If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
⁸ "By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

Jesus explained that one day men will stand before him and declare all the good works they have done in his name, yet he will declare their works to be lawlessness. How can we do good in the name of Jesus and have it be a lawless act? The reason is that man cannot bear fruit of himself. The Spirit bears fruit and this will only happen if we are abiding in Christ and his words are abiding in us. Even our asking is for the purpose of glorifying God and bearing fruit to him. If you treasure his word in you, so you abide in Christ, fruit is a product of a healthy relationship with him. Also consider this foundational passage in Ephesians 2:8-10

⁸ For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God,
⁹ not of works, lest anyone should boast.
¹⁰ For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Works are not something we do for God; it is the work of God that we walk in once we understand faith. The problem is that many Christians are putting works ahead of faith instead of the other way around. Works cannot produce faith. Faith is a gift of God. Works cannot merit grace, for then grace would no longer be grace (Romans 11:6). Your works can never merit anything of God, for then we would have something to boast of. Our efforts would have earned favor, and then we could glory in God’s presence, and 1 Corinthians 1:29 says that God will not allow this. In the passage above, we see the same thing explained. Works cannot merit grace, because it is a gift. We can never boast about the Lord’s blessings or favor in our lives, for his grace is always a gift.

Only after we have received unmerited grace do we see works mentioned. Even then, it is not our work. We are God’s workmanship, created for good works that God prepared before hand that we should walk in them. Does it say, “Find something to do for God?” Does the Bible say, “Get busy for God?” No, works have been prepared by God beforehand, and all we must do is walk in them through our abiding fellowship in Christ.

Another example of this is found in Hebrews 4. The Bible explains how Israel could not enter the rest God prepared for them because of their unbelief, and then scripture says something interesting about works. Look at Hebrews 4:

³ For we who have believed do enter that rest, as He has said: "So I swore in My wrath, 'They shall not enter My rest,' " although the works were finished from the foundation of the world.

This is the same principle found in Ephesians above. The works of God were finished before the world was founded. We are not doing anything for God that he has not already established within his own foreknowledge and plan. I have several children. Each of them delighted in doing things for their daddy. Their assistance was never needed, in fact, their help was a hindrance. When a three year old helps their father, they think they are doing something big. For them it is a mighty effort and a big task. They would falter in their efforts and then say, “I helped daddy.”

They could not see that I was guiding them in the work, preventing them from doing irreparable harm, and patching up their futile efforts. One of my young daughters helped me replant strawberries early this spring. She put forth her best effort, but left the roots showing, dug the holes too shallow, and watered too little. As we worked, I deepened the holes, covered the roots, and made sure it was watered. Unbeknownst to her, I continued to sustain the plants long after she finished her work. The other day we were looking at the blooming strawberry plants, some with twenty or more budding strawberries. They are producing much fruit. She looked at one of the productive plants and said, “That’s one that I planted!”

She saw the fruit of her labors, knew she helped her father, but has no idea that if I left her work to her efforts, the plant would be struggling or even dead. So why do I let a three and four year old child work with me in the garden? I can be more productive without them. The work would be fast, efficient, and productive. I bring my children into my work because I love them. I want to have fellowship with my kids, and their role in the work serves no other purpose than for them to know the joy of enjoying the experience with me. They look at the garden, eat the fruit of the work, and are satisfied with both the relationship of working with Dad, and knowing that they were part of the work.

Do we, as mortal men and women, think we can do anything for God that he cannot do for himself? He created the world, stars, universe and all that is within it. God created life and sustains all things by the word of his power(Hebrews 1:3). And he accomplished this without our help. Yet, he calls us into the work, knowing that we will dig too shallow, goof things up, and leave messes for our heavenly father to clean up. Why does God do it? It is for one thing, and one thing only. Love – agape.

God calls us to walk in his works, which he prepared before hand and has already finished, so that we can share in his fellowship and enjoy the fruit produced through his hand. It is the work of God that he desires to share with us because he loves us. We see the fruit he is producing, and he gives us the benefits that in truth we don’t deserve. Like my children sitting at the table and saying, “I helped grow this,” God invites us to the table of his fellowship and allows us to enjoy the fruit of a life in Christ. The fruit of our life is a gift of love, not a merit from our labor.

Paul said it best when he said that he was called to preach the gospel. “If I do this willingly, I have a reward. But if unwillingly, I still have the dispensation of the gospel given to me.” In other words, obedience is necessary in order to remain in fellowship with God, but the reward is not for the labor, but our heart of willingness. We are willing because we act out of love for our God. The work is already finished. We are just called to walk in it. If we pout and grumble, we have no reward. If we refuse to work, God will chastise us. If we are never chastised, the Bible warns that we may not be children of God at all. But if we serve willingly, because we are making God our first love and walking in fellowship with him, he rewards us. Look at Hebrews 11:6

⁶ But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

The reward is not in the labor, but in a heart that believes the Lord and seeks him diligently. It is a child who says to her father, “I want to go with you,” and is then willing to be led, and does so by taking joy in the fellowship with her father. My three year old has no fear of fouling up the work, because her focus is on the fellowship. Those who are fearful of the work have missed the point. They are focused on their abilities rather than God’s completed work. It is completed within his plan, but we are walking in it as we journey to that final day of completion, which God has already foreordained.

Also, those who serve God out of fear are missing the joy of fellowship. If I am only serving out of fear, I am not working out of love. Like Paul, who said (to paraphrase), “I have a reward if I do this willingly, but if unwilling, I am only fulfilling my required duties,” I am missing the reward. The reward is in the joy of fellowship. God has called me to enter the fellowship of love within himself, and I am missing the greatest gift if I am only looking at labor as an escape from fear and not looking at the joy of walking in God’s will. It is not my salvation that is at stake, it is the joy of fellowship I am striving to obtain. Look at 1 John 4:17-19

¹⁷ Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.
¹⁸ There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
¹⁹ We love Him because He first loved us.

Any who serve God out of fear, has not been perfected by love. So works must begin with a heart of love. Working to appease is worthless and has no merit. Working to appease is a failure to realize that our labors are not to accomplish God’s will, but to join him in his labors, and experience the unmerited reward of his fruitful work. God wants to give us what we don’t deserve, and produce fruit that our labors cannot accomplish. It is all rooted in the love of God. The fruit will be produced, with or without your help. The finished work was built into creation and will be accomplished. The labor is God’s love, offered to you, so you can share in the rewards of what God is producing. It is unmerited, undeserved, pure love. It is God’s gift to you, not your gift to him. God calls you to walk in the works he established before the world began so you can share in the fruit that will be produced by his hand.

Eddie Snipes
To read more on this topic, go to http://exchangedlifediscipleship.blogspot.com and read the five part topic, The Love of God that Overcomes Condemnation.

The Edge of Innocence

2010-05-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

Growing up in the south during the late 60s, I was raised on the edge of innocence. The simple joys I learned from my grandparents would become a strong foundation for dealing with life as it unfolded around me. The years ahead would bring the sexual revolution, an unprecedented number of divorces, and crime rates that would alter the open society that America once held dear. Brass locks that decorated my grandparent’s doors served no real function. I never once heard a knock at the door. All of their friends just waltzed in as if they were part of the family—and indeed, they were.

In most modern day neighborhoods, strangers live next door, but in the era of my grandparents, it was hard to find anyone you did not know. I can remember fidgeting impatiently when a five-minute trip to buy fishing bait turned into a thirty-minute conversation with someone my grandfather had not seen in a whole month. He never made it out of any business without a lengthy conversation.

As a young boy, my greatest cares were getting out of school without homework and hoping it wouldn’t rain when I wanted to fish. I heard my mother talking to Grandma about my uncle being sent to Vietnam, but in my mind, that was a military base somewhere near Marietta, Georgia, where they visited him as he prepared for his deployment.

My grandfather was known to everyone as “Pappy." He loved to tell corny jokes. They were the kind of jokes that made you want to roll your eyes. He took great pleasure in drawing that reaction from people, and he would tell the same jokes at every opportunity. If someone laughed, he enjoyed a good laugh with them. If they didn’t laugh, he enjoyed a good laugh at their pained expression.

Few things were more thrilling than Pappy saying to me, “Come on. I’m gonna learn you how to fish.” Sometimes those lessons were painful. One time I hooked a large fish and he rushed over to give me step-by-step instructions. “Hold your rod up,” he kept ordering. I was standing on a large flat rock that the fish had rushed under for refuge. I reached out with my rod to keep the line from rubbing against the jagged surface. “Hold your rod up, hold your rod up.”

I tried to explain that I had to keep the line away from the sharp rock. Unfazed, he continued to issue the same order, “Hold your rod up!” Pappy had a stubborn streak and I don’t think I ever heard him change his mind, even when facing a mountain of contradicting evidence. On this occasion, I grew irritated and decided to follow his orders even though I knew it would break my line. I held my rod up, and my line sliced across the rock as the fish sought for a path of escape. The rod sprang up as an empty line floated lazily in the breeze. Pappy said that it wouldn’t have snapped if I had followed his instructions.

As far as I can remember, that is the only time I let his orders get the best of me. Everyone loved Pappy, but no one could work with him—no one except me. Whether it was fishing or working, Pappy felt the need to instruct whomever he was working with. Because of the great love he always expressed for me, I learned how to say, “Okay” when he barked instructions, even when it was something already being done. I soon found that I enjoyed working with him, in spite of this quirk.

Each school year, I longed for summer vacation when I could go spend a week or two with my grandparents. Pappy showed me every good fishing spot on the Yellow River that flowed near his house in Porterdale, Georgia. It was a delight to come back with a mess of fish. Pappy would say, “You can’t go inside until we get these fish cleaned.”

One day, we were just finishing up with this chore and I had been watching a catfish head with his mouth wide open. For reasons unknown, I decided to put my finger in the mouth of that fish. When I touched its tongue, the jaws clamped down hard on my finger and its strength caught me off guard. I screamed as the vice-like mouth crushed my finger. Pappy walked over with two screwdrivers and pried the jaws apart, freeing my finger.

With a sly look, Pappy asked, “What did you go and do that fer? What did you think was going to happen?” I shrugged, but I wanted to tell him that I thought fish heads wouldn’t have the strength to fight back.

My grandfather fished all year long and stored all our catches in a large chest freezer. In the early fall, he would have a big fish fry that was more of a celebration of life than a meal. My Uncle Henry would hook up his propane fryer and it seemed like the entire town of Porterdale would come out. We would all sit under the large pecan trees at my uncle’s house and enjoy hot fish in the cool shade.

Uncle Henry was a big man who loved to show off his strength. After the feeding frenzy subsided, he would go to his barn and bring out his relics of brawn. He had two large semicircle magnets that clamped tightly together. He would pass them around and challenge all the men to try pulling them apart. Every man there would strain, twist, and pull against the magnets until someone would utter the words Henry longed to hear, “I don’t think those things can come apart.”

That was always Uncle Henry’s cue. He would take the magnets and say, “Watch this.” Each of his large hands would wrap around one of the magnets and then this big man would try his best to keep his face from showing any strain as he pulled the magnets apart. He would smile and hold up the separated halves for all to see, and then put them back together with a loud snap. He would hand the magnets over to a challenger for another vain effort, amplifying the magnitude of his feat.

The men’s conversation centered on church life, their hunting dogs, and where the fish were jumping. The women folk took turns cranking the hand-turned ice cream maker while they talked about men, their kids, and where they found the best bargains. We tried to avoid this area, but when the ladies tired of cranking, they would fetch the kids to help with this task. I’m not sure which was worse, the pain in my arm as I cranked the handle, or the disappointment of missing the conversations among the men. The joy of finding a ten-dollar sweater for three dollars was not my idea of exciting talk.

Rarely did one of these gatherings end without Pappy getting out his guitar to play hymns. The families would reunite into a large circle as we ate homemade banana ice cream and sang about the “Sweet Bye and Bye.” While the strumming of the guitar followed the tune of the old hymns, Pappy sang in a key that never quite matched. As everyone joined in for this country cantata, voices rang out like clanking keys, but everyone smiled in harmony, unaware of their voices clashing in the air.

As my grandparent’s generation receded into the past, my generation emerged to witness many changes in our American culture. When I was a child, there was no fear of walking down the street at night and violent acts shocked the nation. But as Atlanta became a city with one of the nation’s highest crime rates, doors became locked in the daytime, and children played under the watchful eyes of parents.

I am thankful I was born on the edge of innocence, and see it as my duty to carry part of it into the next generation. In childhood, I had one foot in the generation of innocence, and in adulthood, the other foot in the receding morality of a post-Christian culture. With gratitude, I remember this era my generation almost missed.

That era in American history may have been forgotten by our modern culture, but I remember and cherish those days. Days when simple pleasures gave me a sweet taste of life. The work was hard, luxuries were few, but people and communities were close. I’m grateful that I lived during a time when I could glimpse the innocence of life my grandparents enjoyed. It continues to live in my heart, and I seek to teach my children how they can carry their part of America’s innocence into the next generation.

- Eddie Snipes - 2010

Author Spotlight - Tammy Doherty

2010-04-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

This Author Spotlight is on Tammy Doherty.

Tammy Doherty is the author of three historical Christian romance novels. She lives on a small farm in central New England with her husband and two children, where they grow and sell perennials and also raise chickens. Her daughter currently has thirteen Bantam chickens – all pets. When not writing, taking care of the plants or chasing after her youngest child, Tammy enjoys reading, connecting with friends on Facebook, and watching Dr. Who. Visit Tammy at her website or at her blog, Faith, Fiction & Friends.

1) How long have you been writing?
I learned to write at a young age and started writing stories soon after. But I didn’t get serious until 2000, when we bought our first computer. By then, I had matured and so had the stories in my imagination. Even so, it took a year and an epiphany of sorts to figure out exactly what I wanted to write.

2) If you could give new writers one piece of advice, what would you say?

Get involved in a critique group and listen to your critique partners. Don’t dismiss criticism – if you don’t learn and change, you won’t grow and your writing will always be half-rate at best.

3) What was your best decision as a writer?

Joining American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) has definitely been the best decision I’ve made as a writer. The fellowship alone is worth the membership fee, but there are so many more benefits. I participated in a few on-line courses (free to members!) which helped hone my skills. This year I joined the critique loop and through that I’ve hooked up with 5 fantastic critique partners. One of my CP’s, Nike Chillemi, and I have started a blog with fellow ACFW member David Arp. I can’t stress enough how wonderful this membership has been for me. I recommend it to all who write Christian fiction, or Christian writing of any kind.

4) I understand you have a book coming out, tell me about the book.

This spring I am officially launching my third novel, Celtic Knot. This novel was published in 2005 but released at the same time as my son was born. It never received any promotion or marketing, since my time was taken up with the baby.

Celtic Knot is the 3^rd in a related series. The story takes place in 1890 Colorado. Secret service agent Kyle Lachapelle is working undercover on the Big L-O ranch, looking for a counterfeit ring. He’s immediately attracted to Abby Finnegan when they meet, yet he’ll be moving on when this case closes. It wouldn’t be fair to toy with her affections, especially since her heart has already been broken by the death of her beloved husband. Abby is also attracted to the handsome, rugged, gentlemanly newcomer. But he works for her family. Her father has ruled this town with an iron fist for decades and her older brother is following in his footsteps. How can she trust a man who works for the Bigelows? When Kyle learns of Abby’s connection to his counterfeiting case he’s not sure she can be trusted. Then Abby’s daughter, Milly, disappears and Abby’s best friend is murdered. Kyle and Abby must overcome their distrust to save Milly and solve the case. But can love conquer their fears?

5) What do you hope the reader takes away from your book?

In this novel, I tried to show God’s love vs. earthly love. Abby grew up in a loveless family. Only when she met her husband did she learn about God. After he died, she questions why the Lord allows bad things to happen if He loves us. As she struggles with faith, her best friend believes she is in love with Abby’s brother, and that he loves her in return. But things go horribly wrong with their relationship.

I hope readers will see the purity of God’s love and the need to have a relationship with Him first and foremost. If a reader is not yet a believer, I hope this story will either answer some questions or encourage the reader to seek answers to new questions.

Above all else, my goal is to write an enjoyable story. I hope readers will be left wanting to read more!

6) What challenges have you had in getting your book published?

When I started writing, I knew nothing about getting published. I used Sally Stuart’s Christian Writer’s Market Guide. Everywhere I read, attending conferences was strongly suggested. Yet there weren’t any near me. I got lucky when a NH writers’ group hosted a one-day workshop/seminar with Steve Laube as keynote speaker. At that time, Steve was with Bethany House. His advice sticks with me to this day.

Because I felt there was little chance of attending a conference to pitch my work to an agent or editor, I chose to self-publish my books (POD). The first book was so well received it encouraged me to continue writing. I published the two follow-up novels in the same manner.

()Many people pooh-pooh self-published books. The company I chose, Xulon Press, designed beautiful covers for all three of my books. The books each have IBSN numbers. Xulon Press helped with getting them listed with Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and hundreds of other on-line booksellers. The drawback to self-publishing is that the author is responsible for all editing. I worked extremely hard on the copy edits and even made sure to get permission to use KJV Bible quotes. Despite all that work, there are typos, just like all books by any well-known author from the “big” traditional publishers.

For my next novel, a contemporary romantic suspense, I am going to go the traditional publisher route. Because the other drawback to self-publishing, even POD, is the expense. I don’t have the money to publish this one myself. But I do have a fan base eager for my next book. I hope that, along with a well-written story of course, will convince a publisher to take a chance on me. You can purchase Celtic Knot below:

Celtic Knot

The Sacrifice of Thanksgiving

2010-04-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

Today, I was irritated. Circumstances were not smiling upon me, and everything seemed to go wrong, causing me to start the day tired, irritable, and frustrated. It’s funny how that big problems aren’t the things that usually weigh us down. It is the little things. The things that feel like sand in our shoes.

During my morning commute, I usually listen to the Bible on audio. It is a time that I normally enjoy, but today I didn’t want to listen to the Bible. I felt irritated and wasn’t in a spiritual mood. I felt compelled to listen anyway, so I thought, “I’ll do it. But I know I won’t get anything out of it.”

I was wrong. During the course of listening, I heard Psalm 50, and I was struck by something I heard at the end of the chapter. Psalm 50:14-15

¹⁴ Offer to God thanksgiving, And pay your vows to the Most High.
¹⁵ Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me."

The passage is talking about how Israel was focused on offering sacrifices to God, and the Lord asks what man can give that he doesn’t already own. The Lord spends several verses stressing that our religious acts, sacrifices, and offerings mean nothing in themselves. But then in verse 14, God tells us to offer to God thanksgiving. This is the sacrifice God desires. In fact, it is the only sacrifice that really means anything. Without a thankful heart, righteous acts and sacrifices are merely vain rituals. Keeping the law and commandments may restrain our lives, but the only action that truly touches the heart of God is an offering of thanksgiving.

Ironically, this is the sacrifice that cost us the least, but carries the greatest value. Thirty-nine times the Bible uses the phrase, “give thanks,” including 1 Thessalonians 5:18

¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

How many times have we asked God to show us his will? Of all the things that we imagine as the will of God, he chose to specifically direct us to give thanks – in everything. Ah, therein is the problem. That nasty little word, ‘everything’. It would be easy to thank God for my job, my house, family, possessions, health, and any number of things we consider to be a blessing, but everything?

I certainly didn’t feel very thankful. I began to muse on this command and think about all the things in life. Does God really want us to be thankful in what irritates us? Then I thought on an example from the Old Testament. As Israel wandered through the desert, God sheltered them from the heat of the scorching sun, gave the light at night. He gave them streams of water in the desert, and manna from heaven. When they tired of manna, God sent quail. And this is after God broke the will of Pharaoh and freed them from 400 years of slavery. Slavery was a burden so heavy, they couldn’t bare it and cried to the Lord for deliverance.

All the miracles and benevolence of God was laid out in their midst, and what did they do? Did they sing to God with a thankful heart? They did when God first destroyed the army pursuing them, but in a matter of days, they forgot and began to focus on the things that irritated them. Then they focused on the things they didn’t have. This people, who begged God for deliverance, actually started forming a party to return to Egypt to go back into bondage. The things they didn’t like blinded them to God’s goodness, and blinded them to the very pain they left behind. They actually thought it would be better to be beaten by taskmasters and make bricks for no reward than to follow God. Oh, the absurdity of human nature.

The truth is that they were not thankful because they were focusing on what they didn’t have and what they didn’t like, and could not see the goodness of God right before their eyes. Their thankless hearts were blinded to the loving-kindness of God.

As I mused, I began to realize that I struggle with the same things. Why can’t I be thankful in all things? It is because I allow the things that I don’t like to blind me to the loving-kindness of God that fills my life. Like Israel, I find myself murmuring and questioning God. As if, I somehow know better than he does. The truth is that my role is to fulfill the will of God in my life by being thankful in all things. That means taking my eyes off what bothers me, and placing it on the Lord as I look for his hand in all things.

Since I know the Bible says that all things work together for my good within God’s purpose, and are foreordained by God to shape me into his image, I have to decide whether to walk by faith, or by sight. God declared that we are to walk by faith, and if we draw back, he has no pleasure in our lives.

So why does God allow seemingly meaningless things to irritate me? How could something that has no apparent value and only serves as an irritant be for my good? I may never know, but after thinking about it, I found a couple of things to consider.

One. Have you ever met someone who has had everything given to them and has only known a life of ease? I’ve known men who have scratched and clawed their way into a successful business and have become rich. Yet, their children have never experienced what it feels like to have nothing, and they expect everything. Often the second generation feels like life owes them everything. Their character is tissue thin and they become spoiled by luxury. A spoiled child looks at everything from the perspective of how it makes them feel. If they want it, they think they have a right to it. If they don’t like something, they feel violated when they don’t get their way.

This is evident in the lives of children, but it is prevalent in our lives as well. It’s human nature. As Christians, when we are blessed by God, we’ll begin to expect God to answer every expectation unless something changes in our hearts. When I don’t get my way, my first response is to react negatively. Instead of thanking God, I murmur. There must be a conscious effort to turn my eyes off the things I don’t appreciate and focus on the love of God as I acknowledge his wisdom, and thank him for his work in my life.

I talked about those who have never needed, but also consider those who have lacked. When someone has gone through a difficult time, they quickly recognize good and appreciate what they have been given. During the Cold War era, a Soviet ambassador came to America and was given a tour of the sites we consider part of our national pride. Nothing impressed her until she walked into a grocery store. The woman broke down in tears when she saw the full shelves, wide selections, and people shopping and taking whatever they wanted. When is the last time you walked in a grocery store and felt moved by all that we have available to us? It has been such a common blessing that it never crosses our minds.

Two. The things we don’t like can force us to look for what is good. In many ways, it is a test of our faithfulness. Let’s go back to our example of Israel. After God showed his mighty works and promised the people that they would inherit the land promised to Abraham, he sent twelve spies into the land. God told them they would find a fruitful land, flowing with milk and honey.

The twelve men returned and declared that the land was exactly as God had promised it, but the people there were too strong and the challenges too great. They turned back from the promise of God because they couldn’t accept the test of their faith. Their faith was overthrown by giants in the land, but we are overthrown by gnats buzzing around our heads.

Every Christian struggles with this to one degree or another, but I am trying to learn from the example of Numbers 14:27-29

²⁷ "How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who complain against Me? I have heard the complaints which the children of Israel make against Me.
²⁸ "Say to them, 'As I live,' says the LORD, 'just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will do to you:
²⁹ 'The carcasses of you who have complained against Me shall fall in this wilderness, all of you who were numbered, according to your entire number, from twenty years old and above.

Fortunately, we don’t face the danger of dying in a literal desert, yet many Christians are dying in a desert of a fruitless Christian life. We dry up and die inside because we can’t see the blessings of the Lord and his perfect plan in our lives. The only thing we notice is what causes us to complain, and since our lives are foreordained by the Lord (Romans 8:28-30), our complaint is against him.

God will allow things that bother me to irritate me in order to see if I trust him and will do his will – offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving in all things. So, through Psalm 50 I realized that I was falling into the same trap that has plagued humanity from the beginning. Before me was a choice – give thanks and choose to lift up a thankful heart to the Lord so I can walk in his promises, or toss my own irritable human nature in his face, and complain about the handful of things that aren’t going my way. As real as my problems may seem to be, they are still filtered through the hand of God.

I found what I already knew to be true. When I began to thank him, the buzzing gnats grew faint and had no power to irritate me. Song of Solomon says to catch the little foxes that spoil the vines and rob from us the tender grapes. That is a murmuring spirit. Like a fox that steals the fruit, murmuring steals the joy of salvation and the blessings of the Lord. A fruitful life cannot coexist with a murmuring spirit.

The command to have a thankful heart is a price that will cost you nothing, but gain everything. I say nothing, but that’s because I consider pity parties as nothing. All God is asking me to do is give up what darkens my soul and lift my eyes to the light of his loving-kindness. Understanding this adds new meaning to Psalm 36:7-9

⁷ How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
⁸ They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, And You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures.
⁹ For with You is the fountain of life; In Your light we see light

The light that opens our eyes comes when we trust in the Lord and submit ourselves under the shadow of his wings. A place, by the way, where distrust and unthankfulness aren’t welcomed. I’m reminded of the words of Jesus as he wept over Jerusalem. He said, “How I longed to gather you under my wings as a hen gathers her chicks, but you would not come.”

I realized that I must heed the same voice, or refuse the shelter and promises of God. He calls for me to come with a thankful heart, drink and be refreshed from his river, and be satisfied with his abundance. Why then should I cling to the things that rob me of this pleasure? What an amazing God we serve. He asks me to sacrifice my murmuring attitude and replace it with thankfulness. A thankful heart itself changes my life, but it doesn’t end there. As I thank him, the Lord draws me to the river of his pleasures – the place where blessings and promises flow directly from his throne.

Eddie Snipes

Statements to Ponder

2010-04-22T01:38:00.000-07:00

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...AGAIN.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - EVER.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

27. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Three Things - A questionaire

2010-04-17T06:19:00.000-07:00

Here is an interesting questionnaire someone sent me a while back.

-1- Three Names I go by:
1. Eddie
2. Ed
3. George Edward (Only my mother calls me this)

-2- Three Jobs I have had in my life:
1. Burger flipper
2. Computer Technician
3. Manager

-3- Three Places I have lived:
1. America
2. Germany
3. Panama

-4- Three TV Shows that I watch:
1. Forensic shows (the real kind)
2. Sports
3. A blank TV screen

-5- Three places I have been:
1. Disney World and Land
2. Paris
3. Crazy

-6- People that e-mail me regularly:
1. Dozens of people through my website
2. Hundreds of people at work
3. Thousands of spammers

-7- Three of my favorite foods:
1. Chocolate
2. Collards and Cornbread
3. Beef vegetable soup (My wife makes the best in the world!)

-8- Three things I would like to do:
1. Survive parenthood
2. Move to the country
3. Tap dance on oatmeal and recite Shakespeare

-9- Things I am looking forward to:
1. Getting home everyday
2. Moving out of a neighborhood
3. Eternity

-10- Foods I won't eat:
1. Raw Onions - they are pure evil.
2. Potato salad - it is impure evil
3. Sushi - it is a foreboding evil.

-11- Things I notice first about people:
1. Smile
2. Eyes
3. Attitude

-12- Things I love to do in the summer:
1. Garden
2. Eating what came out of the garden
3. Watching thunderstorms at night

-13- Things I hate to do in the summer:
1. Cut grass - I don't really hate it unless the lawnmower is having problems
2. Dealing with Mosquitoes
3. Killing fire ants. Actually I love killing them, I just hate having them in the yard.

-14- Things I wish I did better:
1. I wish I could speak slower (My wife just corrected me to say, "It should be 'more slowly.'" Not really, but I know she was thinking it.)
2. I wish I had a good memory. Even so, I have never forgot anything important....at least not that I can remember.
3. Be a better father and husband.

Post 'Three Things' and link your blog in the comments.

The Joy of Tax Season!

2010-04-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

It’s tax season! Saying this to Uncle Sam is like saying, “It’s deer season” to a hunter. Government officials are loading up while IRS agents point out the big game. Uncle Sam is so excited, he’s already spent what he’ll bag this year. And next year. And the next. I could go on, but you’ll bore if I list how many years Sam has already hocked.

Each election season, our Uncle may change his appearance, but he’s been remarkably consistent in presenting his smiling face as he gives a warm hug, and pats his people on the wallet. A few years ago, one of our Uncles inspired us with a sacrifice of giving seventy-dollars to charity. Another year, his first lady declared her used underwear as a contribution, and wrote it off her taxes. Now that’s inspiration! What more could our leaders do to show their intimate care of the American people, than to share their undies with the less fortunate?

I have a limited amount of undies, but I’ve taken my fingers, forced the corners of my mouth into a smile, and finalize my contributions. Generosity is such a part of my nature, my Uncle has taken liberty to pull contributions directly from my paycheck. I didn’t even have to volunteer! Sometimes, when he is pleased, he gives some of it back. Some are opposed to this, and call it ‘giving to the rich’, but I don’t mind.

Once, I almost lost the joy of contributing. Shortly after marriage, my taxes became complicated. Today, I pondered the fond memories of my first tax season of Married Filing Jointly. Looking at the forms, I had to choose between 1040EZ, 1040 E=MC2, 1040 Egyptian-Hieroglyphic, 1040 Mayan-2012 edition, or one of the other options. I thought the EZ sounded promising until I read the instructions. It had three lines:

1-How much did you earn?

2-How much have you contributed?

3-Subtract line A from line B. This is the amount owed.

I was feeling confused until I saw the Tax information hotline. I pressed buttons until I heard, “Press 8 to speak to a friendly representative.” I poked the key and waited patiently for three and a half hours. I was so excited about contributing my fair share my wait only seemed like minutes. Many minutes. A woman answered – at least I think it was a woman – and said, “You may now ask your irrelevant question. Please.”

When I explained my need, she said in a friendly sigh, “I need to ask you a few hundred questions. Grab all your personal and financial information and we’ll begin.”

I pulled the drawers from my filing cabinet. “Okay. I think I’m ready.”

“That’s what they all say.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “Do you or have you ever owned a home, trailer, car, luxury yacht, dollhouse, any other material or non-material property, and if so, have you ever market assessed its depreciation, appreciation, deflectuation, had monetarily valuation of the circumference of the said material, non-material, intellectual, or abstraction within the last –.”

I hung up. She was right, I was too stupid to talk to her. I decided to go with the 1040A. It was the first letter of the alphabet, and it only had 7500 lines. It started simple enough, but as I continued, I felt like I was wading into deeper waters. It was ankle deep, waist deep, and then I dropped in over my head.

The problem started when I reached line 2000. The form said, “If totals from line 976 is greater than the total of 421a, but less than 421j, or is less than the total of line 1023, but greater than the total of 421m while not exceeding the combination of lines 85, 130, and 587z while remaining greater than the totals of lines 901, 935a, and 950az, enter that amount here.”

I was beginning to get frustrated. I stepped off the ledge and was now swimming in the sea of stupidity. It was so simple. Why didn’t I get it? I tried again. After all, how hard can it be to add and subtract simple numbers? I walked through the instructions, and felt the pressure building in my head. I breathed deeply. “Okay, calm down, and let’s start again from the beginning.” As an added precaution, I wrapped masking tape around my head to keep it from blowing under the pressure. I began again, and again, and again. Then it happened. There was a blinding light and I started shredding forms and gnashing paper.

My wife eased the door open to see the cause of the commotion. I looked up and our eyes met. I looked down at the pieces of paper that once represented my patriotic dreams, and looked up again. I saw her eyes fixed on my forehead and I remembered the tape wrapped around my noggin. I spit out a wad of 1040A and said, “I can explain.” As I picked tape from my hair, the words wouldn’t come. The only words I could think of were, “I need help.” My wife nodded and closed the door.

I swallowed my pride and began my quest for answers. I found something called Turbo Tax, and for the last fifteen years, it has translated my crude language into something the government can understand. I have no idea what it does, but I put in a few answers and it spits out a return. Unless we adopt the Fair Tax, I don’t think anyone will ever understand our tax system. This software is the closest thing in existence. I haven’t eaten a single tax document in fifteen years!

Now I’m looking for software to help bridge the gap between women and men. If someone from Intuit reads this, can you start working on a product called Turbo-Spouse? It would be nice to answer a few questions and know exactly what my wife wants, and then be able to answer in a language she can understand. Eddie Snipes

Yet, Even More Modern Proverbs

2010-04-07T02:10:00.000-07:00

01. Trust everybody ... then cut the cards.

02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

03. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

05. A lways remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat all day long.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember what you said.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Even More Modern Proverbs

2010-04-05T02:02:00.000-07:00

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of Politicians give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13.. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're driving on the wrong side of the road.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you take on today, might burn your behind tomorrow.

Honk if you love Sunrise Services

2010-04-04T09:29:00.000-07:00

It was Easter morning. My mother flicked on the light in my room and shook me awake. I tried to bully the sleep from my eyes with my fists, but when I saw the dark purple sky outside, I pulled the covers over my head and rolled over. My snoozing was snatched away when my mother returned, pulled off the covers, and forced me into action.

I was seven years old, and my sister was eight. We dragged ourselves to the car, grumbling about being tired. Sunrise Easter service was not as exciting as catching a few more winks of sleep. How could we sing praises to the Lord with a merry heart, when we didn’t even have the energy to sit up? My mother relented, tossed a couple of blankets into the car, and we were off to church.

A piano, pulpit, and the choir gathered behind the church on a precipice that overlooked a pasture. As the service progressed, the sun rose over rolling hills, providing worshipers with a picturesque view behind the preacher.

My mother placed us in the front and back seats as she draped blankets over our lifeless bodies, then joined the choir. There must have been something magical in the way the piano played, for once the music hit our ears, our weary bodies were resurrected with new life.

I’m sure my sister started it. She might tell you otherwise, but don’t believe her. I was watching the service and soaking in the music, when she attacked me. I had no choice but to defend myself. We were locked in mortal combat when my sister tumbled backwards and sat on the horn. It was loud and long. We looked to see if anyone noticed. The windows were now fogged up, so we assumed that if we couldn’t see out, they couldn’t see in.

I dove to the back seat, and my sister followed. We then dove to the front seat. My sister fell against the horn again. Another long blare. I fought to regain control of the battle, and grabbed the only thing within my grasp. It wasn’t the horn. It was the steering wheel. However, as I pulled myself up, my elbow hit the horn and it blasted the congregation again. But that was my sister’s fault, because she was pushing down on me.

We continued to leap back and forth like two squirrels fighting for territory. At last count, we had made twenty-five leaps across the seats, and only four horn blares. Three for her, but only one for me. All things considered, that was a pretty good percentage. Have you ever tried hand-to-hand combat in a cramped car without hitting the horn?

My mother and father weren’t happy. After arriving home, my sister and I weren’t happy. For some reason, my mother wasn’t impressed with the fact that only one horn honk was the result of physical contact with my body. She describes the scene as a car, rocking violently with an occasional blasting of the horn. Like my sister and I, she was also grateful that the windows were fogged up so no one could identify the children inside. Unfortunately, everyone watched my parents climb into the car.

This was the day I discovered that car horns were distractions to outdoor services, and that my parents do not enjoy being humiliated in front of the church. When the Easter Bunny came to deliver our baskets, my dad shot him and my mother buried his corpse in the back yard – along with the treats he’d brought for good boys and girls.

Few churches conduct sunrise services these days, but if they do, and you are disposed to go, do not leave weary children in the car. If you do, be sure to disconnect the battery or disable the horn. Have a happy Easter!

Eddie Snipes

More Modern Proverbs

2010-04-03T02:59:00.000-07:00

1. It is only those who never do anything who never make mistakes.

2. Wise men listen to wise counsel. Fools won't take it.

3. Many complain of their looks, but none of their brains.

4. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

5. Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

6. I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

7. You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

8. Patience will come to those who wait for it.

9. Incoming fire has the right of way.

10. Nothing is as easy as it looks.

11. Everything is easy if you know how to do it.

12. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

13. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

14. If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.

15. Every solution breeds new problems.

16. If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.

17. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

18. Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.

19. It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

20. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

21. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

22. Everything takes longer than you think.

Modern Proverbs

2010-04-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

1. War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

2. A man who lives in glass house should change clothes in the basement.

3. A man who scratches his feet should not bite his fingernails.

4. A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

5. You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

6. A Wise Man can see more from the bottom of a well than a Fool can see from the top of a mountain.

7. Hear and you forget; see and you remember; do and you understand.

8. Whining is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

9. There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

10. A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

11. A peacock who sits on his tail is just another turkey.

12. He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.

13. Education makes a graduate, but mistakes make you an expert.

14. It is never too late to be what you might have been.

15. If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

16. You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

17. If you rescue a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

18. In golf, as in life, it is the follow through that makes the difference.

19. The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.

20. The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

21. Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

Evidence for the Resurrection of Christ

2010-04-01T08:19:00.000-07:00

It is frequently argued that there is no evidence outside the Bible to verify the Bible’s claims. Thank God this is far from true; history, archaeology and science are filled with irrefutable proofs that validate the scriptures. In this study we will look at historical accounts that are widely accepted as credible by both biblical scholars and secular historians.
To view this three part study, visit http://exchangedlifediscipleship.blogspot.com/

The Unpardonable Sin

2010-03-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

Over the years, I’ve gotten many questions about the unpardonable sin, and like most Christians, I have wrestled with this subject in my own studies. A question I recently was asked echoes the struggles and anxieties of many who wonder if they, too, could commit the unpardonable sin.

Question: I fear I may have committed the unpardonable sin of Matthew 12 in my thoughts. I try hard not to think blasphemous thoughts, but I can’t seem to fight them off. I just had the worst blasphemous thought, and I feel I have consciously sinned against the Holy Spirit. I feel like I’m going crazy trying to keep from thinking these thoughts, and I fear that I have gone to the point where I cannot be forgiven.

I have written a lengthy study on this topic, and you can read it on my Exchanged Life Discipleship blog by clicking here.

Tuesday Author Spotlight - Margaret Brownley

2010-03-23T02:30:00.000-07:00

This week's writer spotlight is author Margaret Brownley. She has published more than 20 books writing for Harlequin, St.Martin’s Press and Penguin. Her books have been published in 15 languages. She also co-wrote a storyline for a CBS daytime soap. She’s currently writing “love and laughter” in the old west for Thomas Nelson. A Lady Like Sarah is available now.

When did you first discover that you were a writer?

First of all, let me say thanking for having me on your blog.

To answer your question, I was always a storyteller and was constantly in trouble as a child for making up stories. The writer part was harder to acknowledge, partly because English was my least favorite subject. My eighth grade teacher told me not to even think about being a writer. Diagram a sentence? Never! I’m like the musician who can’t read music. It’s hard to let go of the negative messages of childhood and I published close to a half dozen books before I could work up the nerve to call myself a writer.

Tell us about your latest book

A Lady Like Sarah takes place in 1879. Preacher Justin Wells leaves Boston in disgrace, and encounters a wounded marshal on a dusty road in Missouri. Justin promises the dying lawman to take his handcuffed prisoner to Texas. This proves harder than he thought, for the prisoner is a woman and she’s determined to miss the hanging party waiting for her there.

Where did you get the idea for the book?

The story was inspired by the escapades of Pearl Hart. Desperate to help her seriously-ill mother, Pearl stopped a stage and, with the help of a loaded pistol, convinced its passengers to help pay her poor mama’s medical bills. (Bet you didn’t know that health care was highway robbery even back in the old west.) The question that kept running though my mind was, how desperate would a person have to be to rob a stage? Suddenly Sarah popped up on the page and demanded in no uncertain terms that I tell her story.

How do you develop your characters?

With me, it’s all about voice and how my characters answer my questions, which is odd since I’m a visual person. When I asked the heroine of A Lady Like Sarah her name, she replied, “My name is Sarah, no last name. And don’t you go thinkin’ nothin’ of it, you hear?” I could hardly wait to find out why she couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me her last name.

What kind of planning do you do before writing a novel?

Next to none. I don’t even like to map out a trip or plan a meal. I’m a pantser, which means I sit down and write by the seat of mine. Give me a setup or opening scene and I’m off and running. This method fills my life with surprises—never more so than at dinner time.

Do you treat yourself to something special when a project is completed?

This reminds me of the early days of my writing career: I sold an article for $5 and my husband took me out to dinner to celebrate. A short time later, I sold another article, this time for $7, and again, my husband took me out to celebrate. By the third sell my husband announced that we couldn’t afford any more success.

Now, when I finish a project, I generally clean my office, cook my family a nice dinner (to make up for all the poor meals they had while I was on deadline), and let my friends know that I’m back in circulation.

What’s next for you?

I just finished the 2^nd book in my Rocky Creek series, A Suitor for Jenny. I got the idea for this book after seeing a meeting notice in an old Kansas newspaper for an organization called The Society for the Protection and Preservation of Male Independence. What fun the heroine has breaking through that society!

A Suitor For Jenny is schedule for publication September 2010. I’m now writing the third and final book in the series.

Any Advice for writers just starting out?

Rent the movie Julia and Julie and pretend it’s about writers instead of cooks. Julia Child enjoyed the process of cooking, even the failures. Julie didn’t enjoy the process, which led to constant meltdowns and relationship problems. The lesson here is that you have to love the process. If you’re just getting started, stay focused on learning the craft and discovering your inner writer. Don’t worry about the publishing end. That’s down the road. Celebrate every little success. Enjoy the ride. And write, write, write. In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell talks about the 10,000 hour rule to success. Before I was published I put in my 10,000 hours by writing four books. At least two of them (okay, three) were pretty crappy but I learned.

Finally, show up—or at least make sure your manuscript does. Woody Allen said that 80% of success is just showing up and this is SO true. I heard a disturbing statistic at a recent writing conference: only 10% of the writers asked to submit chapters or proposal to an agent or editor actually bother to do so. Write and submit. Write and submit. Babe Ruth said it best, “You can’t beat persistence.”

How can readers find you on the Internet?

A good place to start is with my homestead (aka website):www.margaretbrownley.com

For a laugh check out A Lady Like Sarah Presents Stagecoach Etiquette: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prY2q9Oasp4

Have a little faith!

You can purchase A Lady Like Sarah by clicking here.
Visit Amazon.com to see Margaret's other books by clicking here.

Tuesday Writer Spotlight - Edwina Cowgill

2010-03-16T07:42:00.000-07:00

This week's spotlight is an interview of Edwina Cowgill. She is a member of American Christian Fiction Writers and has recently been appointed as the Georgia area coordinator. Thanks for your thoughtful interview!

How long have you been writing? I actually began writing as a teenager. My best friend (and we've been best friends for life) found the stories I wrote as a teenager and brought them with her on her last visit. I'm sure I'm dating myself by sharing this, but I had written a story about Paul Revere and the Raiders (the music group - not that other Revere guy - I'm not THAT old!) I was madly in love with Mark Lindsay (lead singer) and pledged to follow him to the ends of the earth. We laughed ourselves silly reading those stories!

What is the best advice you have been given for writing? I have this taped onto my laptop and read it everytime I sit down to write: Where is the best place to start a book? On your knees.

If you could give new writers one piece of advice, what would you say? Learn as much as you can from every possible source and don't ever give up.

What process do you use to critique or edit your work? I belong to a critique group within ACFW and they are awesome. We submit one chapter for every two that we critique and we submit twice a week. Presently there are four of us submitting chapters. I have learned so much from belonging to this group! Before I submit a chapter, I review the chapter at least twice, attempting to find as many mistakes as possible. I submit it to the critique group who always finds my nemesis - point of view. I have yet to master that technique -I tend to "head-hop," but I'm learning. Once I receive their critiques back, I read all of them and compare them to see if they've all commented on the same points. That's a sure sign I need to change what they've commented on. I make the change, read it out loud, ask myself if I like the change I've made and then move on. Most of the time, I accept the changes the group suggests, but occasionally, I leave the word, sentence, etc. the way I wrote it in the beginning.

What are you working on now? I'm working on my first novel, that looks like it might be a novella. The tentative title is Surrender and is about a pro-abortion counselor who is lead to God through the love of neighbors, friends and even a teenage girl who followed the advice of the counselor and had an abortion. I am approximately half-way through the first edit, which is why I said this might be a novella. I've cut a lot out! But I plan to go back and add to the story. I will say that this has been a challenging subject to "cut my teeth on" for my first manuscript. I don't know if this manuscript will ever see the light of publication, but I will always be grateful to God for this subject because it has strengthened my resolve to continue supporting pro-life groups and it has taught me so much about writing!

What was your best decision as a writer?

To join ACFW. This group is awesome and I have learned so much from the monthly classes as well as everyone who so generously shares their knowledge via the loop. When I am published, it will be first, due to God's help, grace and mercy, and second, to ACFW.

Have you ever entered your work into contests?

I've entered a number of contests for several reasons: 1) to receive judges' critiques; 2) for the experience and fun of entering; 3) SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! I've made the first cut in two contests, but I've yet to see the money! Seriously, that's okay. I am more interested in learning from the critiques. I'm waiting now to hear back from a contest for which I entered the first 10 pages of my current WIP. I'm very interested to read the judges' opinions!

You can visit Edwina's blog at www.musingsofedwina.blogspot.com

Universal Laws

2010-03-12T06:20:00.000-08:00

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the bathroom.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will....

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.

Funny Ads and Newspaper Clips

2010-03-10T03:21:00.000-08:00

Enjoy these funny ads and news clips taken from local newspapers.

Tuesday Writer highlight - Eleanor Gustafson

2010-03-08T07:45:00.000-08:00

Eleanor K. Gustafson has been publishing both fiction and nonfiction since 1978. Her short stories and articles appeared in a number of national and local magazines. The Stones: A Novel of the Life of King David is her fourth novel. In many of her stories, Eleanor explores the cosmic struggle between good and evil in light of God’s overarching work of redemption. A graduate of Wheaton College in Illinois, she has been actively involved in church life as a minister’s wife, Sunday school teacher, musician, writer, and encourager. She has enjoyed a variety of experiences, from riding horses to building houses, all of which have helped bring color and humor to her fiction. She and her husband live in Massachusetts, where he teaches Philosophy and World Religions. They travel extensively, spend time with their three children and eight grandchildren, and enjoy working and camping at the family forest in Chester, Vermont.

How long have you been writing?

I have been making up stories much of my life but didn’t start actually writing them till after babies and diapers. An article, however, was my first success and saw the light of day in1978. My first novel came out in 1984 and my fourth in 2009. I’ve learned a lot in those years, both positive and negative.

If you could give new writers one piece of advice, what would you say?

Write the best you can—and then write it even better. Get input from knowledgeable readers and listen carefully to their suggestions.

Have you had any of your work rejected? And, how did you react to those rejections?

I have a folder full of rejection letters, and those letters opened my eyes to the realities of getting published. I spent years trying to find a publisher and/or an agent for my David book, The Stones, and was kept going only by the strong sense that God would bring it to pass in his good time. As it happened, a chance meeting with a friend whose son worked at Whitaker House was, indeed, the chosen moment. I think I have always written with the expectation of rejection, and that bit of reality makes life easier.

What process do you use to critique or edit your work?

I love to edit—the fun part of writing. Essential to editing, though, is a good grasp of punctuation and grammar. Since I had poor preparation in that area, I had to learn on my own. Buy books, go online—whatever you need to attain competency. Editors like good sentence structure—a lot. I work through each book at least 50 times to make it tight, to make it sing. I have learned that a paragraph may sound good one day but seem hokey a month or so later. I also ask a number of people to read my manuscripts, and I carefully plug in their corrections/suggestions. What seems perfectly clear to you may not be clear to your readers.

What are you working on now?

I am writing a novel in which a five-gaited horse serves as a metaphor for a man’s passion for God and his fear of God. As the story has developed, I’ve dealt with a number of challenges: Most people know little about horses in general, let alone five-gaited horses. I am also pushing the envelope on God’s ways of moving and shaping a Christian. My critique readers have prodded me to be clear and authentic in issues ranging from theology to spy interaction.

How do you balance writing and the demands of life?

Basically, I don’t. The demands of life tend to squeeze out writing, but with my Dynamo book close to being finished, I am currently devoting two hours each day (except Sunday) to that work. The big time crunch in my life comes in dealing with emails—friends, missionaries, church affairs, author networking, blog interviews, etc. Sundays involve a long stretch of interacting with people, a taxing but satisfying time of ministry. These are good things. How to choose? Cleaning house is one activity I find easy to “sweep” aside.

Tell me about your current book on the market.

The Stones: A Novel of the Life of King David was a HUGE undertaking because David is a huge character. Although the David account gets good coverage in the Bible, my goal was to make the story and characters more accessible to the average reader. From all reports—Amazon reviews and others—I succeeded very well. Men especially like it, as David strikes a chord on many levels—David the warrior, David the sinner, David the passionate lover of God. Women like the story line and character development. Many did not want it to end. One woman said, “I found myself re-reading the preface, the printing notes, anything to keep from closing it.” Another said, “The book shook me up so much that I had sleepless nights and had to read slowly, as I could only take it bit by bit.” Most readers say that the book not only brought David and the Psalms alive but also made them grapple with issues that come wrapped in this gigantic character.

What challenges did you have in getting your book published?

Challenges, indeed: Biblical fiction must be well written, authentic, and true to Scripture. The research required is daunting. Biblical fiction in itself is not a top-selling genre, and this makes the need for big-name endorsers even more urgent. (Eugene heads my list, a beautiful story in itself.) The book is long (601 pages), many of the characters have unpronounceable names, blood flows freely and the times are violent. These are difficult aspects for any publisher to consider. And with top-rank Christian publishers accepting manuscripts only through agents, authors have to negotiate a tricky obstacle course. I worked on this book approximately 15 years from start to finish, including several years knocking on publishers’ and agents’ doors, but from start to finish, I trusted God to bring it to birth. That may be the greatest challenge for any writer—to be taught of God what to write, when it’s ready, and how to stay the course. And promoting the book after publication is another, completely different set of challenges!

Important author information:

Website: www.eleanorgustafson.com

Email address: egus@me.com

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=eleanor+gustafson+stones&x=0&y=0

48 Things About Ourselves

2010-03-04T06:20:00.000-08:00

Add 48 questions about yourself to your blog, and give others a glimpse behind the curtain of your facade.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My Father (Ironically we have the same name).
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? When the dog ate my chocolate.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I would if I could tell what I have written.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Turkey
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Depends on how much I would pay me.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Well isn't that a cute question.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? No. The doctor took them and then had the audacity to charge me.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Probably
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Cheerios
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? They come off?
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Cheesecake with strawberries added - from Cold Stone Creamery. Yum.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Face
15. RED OR PINK? Either
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My sexy toenails.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My neighbor's dog. He won't stay still long enough for me to get a good shot.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? yes
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Navy pants and black socks. I took my shoes off to see if the question I read earlier was true.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My daughter asking me what I am writing.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Blue
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? It's a toss up between coffee and popcorn.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My Grandmother.
25. HOW MUCH TIME TO YOU SPEND ON THE PHONE EACH DAY? 13 Minutes and 28.3 seconds. But who's keeping track?
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Football and baseball
27. HAIR COLOR? Dirty blond. Maybe I should wash it.
28. EYE COLOR? Blue
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No
30. FAVORITE FOOD? Asparagus with chocolate syrup and chili powder sprinkles.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy Endings. Horror movies are slow paced and lacking in action. I always fall asleep.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Blind Side. Good movie, but the book is better. Imagine that.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Original Color? Or after it was spruced up by my two year old's dinner?
34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer
35. HUGS OR KISSES? Depends on whether my wife is involved.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? You
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? That other person - unless you are that other person.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? The Perfect Swarm, Freefall, Broker, Trader, Lawyer, Spy, Killing Pablo, and about a dozen other samples on my Kindle. I'm trying to decide on my next book. The Bible is a given.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I don't have a mouse pad. But if I did, it would probably be a mouse.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? A blank screen.
42. FAVORITE SOUND(S): fingernails on a chalk board.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? That is like asking which you like better, the stomach flu or dysentery.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Germany and France.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can tap dance on oatmeal while reciting Shakespeare
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Atlanta, GA
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING? Yours
48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? We were in the same asylum.

If you post your own answers, link your blog in the comments.

Interview with Max Anderson

2010-03-02T01:00:00.000-08:00

Max is an author of children's books for boys. Growing up as a reluctant reader, Max now sees it as his mission to reach out to boys to bring them into the world of reading by writing the types of books he would have liked as a child. Though his books focus on boys 8-13, his style of writing is appealing to both boys and girls.

As of the date of this interview, Max has had seven books published. Take a few minutes to enjoy this interview with Max.

How long have you been writing?

I began writing in October of 2001. Most of my video production clients scaled back their promotion and marketing after 9/11. I needed another creative outlet.

What motivates you to write?

Creatively, writing is probably the most enjoyable thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve made films, video programs, and commercials all over the country and the world, but writing is what I love. There’s something about sitting down in a room, all by yourself, and creating characters, settings, and plots out of thin air. I write as I go, not outlining, and my books feel like major theatrical motion pictures as they appear in front of my eyes. It’s great fun.

What is your favorite genre?

I like writing for middle grade because the characters are old enough to have fun, but still too young to get into most of the major issues faced by teens and adults.

If you could give new writers one piece of advice, what would you say?

Don't try to write like another author. Find your own voice and your own style, and develop them.

How did you react to rejection?

Rejection is very tough, especially early on in your writing. But then I read several accounts of famous authors who had received countless rejections before they found a publisher. That simply motivated me to work even harder. I’ve also read that many authors don’t see a breakthrough before about ten years. The good thing about these stories is they show us that this is a tough business. And like a tough business, only those who persist, and work hard, will likely survive in it.

What challenges have you had in getting your book published?

The biggest challenge has been in finding publishers who also see a market for action-adventures & mysteries that are written especially for boys. This is beginning to open up now. The good thing is that girls like the stories also.

What are you working on now?

I’ve just completed the publisher’s revisions for book # 1 in the Sam Cooper Adventure Series. The title is Lost island Smugglers. It’s the first time I’ve written a true series. Books #2 and #3 are also written, but not edited yet. The series is intended to be open-ended and run for a long time. Up until now, all of my stories have included different characters, setting, and plot for each book.

What was your best decision as a writer?

My best decision would probably seem like the craziest to most writers. Over about a 3 ½ year period, I wrote a total of thirty-five manuscripts of action-adventures & mysteries, especially for boys. Not only did I not have a contract, nor an agent at the time I began writing, books for boys were not popular in the market. They still aren’t as popular as I believe they are about to become again. But I couldn’t help it. The story ideas kept coming at me. As fast as I could finish one, the next story jumped in my path. Now I have a number of options for selling these manuscripts. I’m glad I wrote them, rather than to have to tell a publisher that I could write them in the future. Of course, this went against conventional wisdom which said that I shouldn’t start writing like this without an agent or a contract.

How do you keep yourself motivated to write?

I grew up hating to read. Now I write the kinds of stories that I would have enjoyed as a child. My focus is on helping just one reader, who might be growing up as I did, but who is just looking for the right book. And it’s the encouraging letters I get from children, parents, and teachers that keep me going. Here’s one that came just last week.

"I am a reading instructor and work one-on-one with people that struggle with learning to read. Getting some of these kids to practice reading can be a MAJOR ordeal. Recently I wanted to find books that these kids would want to read. I found yours. They love them! One student I have has done everything you could possibly think of, over the last year, to try and cut his reading lessons shorter, and getting him to practice his skills outside of our lessons has been like pulling teeth. Last Monday, he wanted to stay longer because he wanted to read more of Legend of the White Wolf. His mom was thrilled. Thank you Max! Your books are wonderful. Please don't stop letting God direct the talents he's put within you. You're making a difference!"

Is your family supportive of your writing?

There is a lot of support in my immediate family and in my extended family. I’m especially blessed in this area.

How do you market your writing?

I tell other writers who are not yet published, that writing is the easy part. It’s what comes next that is the hard work. Finding an agent is hard, but once you do, you have almost a partner who can open some of the doors that you can’t. The next thing you need is a platform. This includes your blog, web site, social media, articles, emailing, and every form of promotion you can think of. I also speak in schools and give an entertaining program with music and sound effects from my film production background. I use every avenue I can think of in order to promote and market my published books.

Click on a book cover below to visit Amazon and review or purchase one of Max's books.

You can read Max Anderson's personal blog at http://booksandboys.blogspot.com/

Or visit his Author's Website at http://www.maxbooks.9k.com/index.html

He Poured Down Mercy - Video

2010-02-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

Here is a great song with great words that my wife updated with a scrolling slide show.
Romans 6:3 Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?
4 Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
5 For if we have been united together in the likeness of His death, certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection,
6 knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin.
7 For he who has died has been freed from sin.
8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,
9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, dies no more. Death no longer has dominion over Him.
10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God.
11 Likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Rom 6:3-11 NKJ)

When a Child Goes Astray

2010-02-24T11:02:00.000-08:00

Recently, a dear friend had a daughter who went astray. This is not a surprising revelation, for the world is filled with wayward children. Though these situations are always painful to parents, how much harder it seems to be for the Christian family who has poured their heart into teaching their children the right way. I've known this girl since she was in first grade, and I don't know any family that seeks to disciple their children more than this family. They are homeschooled, active in church, and they regularly have round table discussions about real life issues and how the Bible applies. Even as a child, this girl's practical knowledge would put most adult Christians to shame. Now, two years out of college, she revealed that she has abandoned her faith and has already chosen a lifestyle that is filled with immorality and future consequences.

We've all heard and have probably quoted the passage that states, "Teach a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." If this is true, why are so many children departing from the faith? How can a family produce three godly children, and one ungodly child? Aren't we guaranteed by the Bible that our efforts will ensure that our children will not depart from what we have taught them? Over the years, I have seen many godly families fight through the heartbreak of a child who strays. I’ve often wondered why, but then, the Bible echoes the same pain in its godliest of leaders.

King Solomon testified that he learned wisdom by the mouth of his own father, King David. God Himself testifies that David was a man after His own heart. There could be no greater honor given to any man, nor has it been given to any other man in scripture. Yet, the same godly man who produced Solomon, also produced Amnon – the man who raped his own sister. David’s nurturing environment produced Absolam, whose inability to forgive Amnon festered for years until he devised a way to murder him. His life was so consumed by hatred that Absolam plotted to murder his own father and take over the throne. And then there was Adonija, whose selfish ambition sent him on a quest to take over the kingdom behind the back of his father, while he lay on his deathbed. Not much is known about the other ten sons called by name, but we know that the man who loved God more than life itself produced three men who shamed him, and one who was honored as the wisest man in history.

From this, I conclude that even if I teach my children in the way they should go, they must still submit to the will of God from their own hearts. Solomon said, “He [David] also taught me saying, ‘Let your heart retain my words.’” Solomon took this to heart, and soaked in the words that he later recounted in the Proverbs. His heart retained the words; therefore, he was trained in the right way. These were the same words that Amnon, Absolam, and Adonija heard, but they did not take it to heart.

If God will not overthrow my own will, I should not think that I will have the power to override my children’s will. I can only teach them the right way and pray that God will guide their hearts to His will. It is clear that part of the training that keeps children from departing, is also dependent on their willingness to be trained. If a child opens their heart to receive the love of God, they will grow into the training we provide in a nurturing environment, and because they are anchored by the love of God, they will not depart from it.

If the Bible’s greatest example of a godly man could not keep three of his children from going astray, I know that all we can do is lead our children in the right way to give them the opportunity to receive the love of God. God offers His love, but does not override the will of our children, and neither can we. We must provide the nurturing environment and seed their hearts with the word of God in a spirit of love, but they must take it to heart so that they do not depart from the right way.

Ultimately, we will give an account for what we teach our children, but they must give an account for their own lives and choices.

Eddie Snipes

Interview with Nike Chillemi of Crime Fiction and Faith

2010-02-22T17:05:00.001-08:00

Nike Chillemi is a fellow writer and a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers. Her candid question and answers provide a valuable glimpse into the world of writing. Thanks Nike for taking the time to write this and give the world a peek behind the curtain of your writing. Nike's blog is called Crime Fiction And Faith. Visit it by clicking here.

1. How long have you been writing?

I wrote my first book when I was a child, illustrated it too. The story was about a girl who loved horses. I always thought, over the years, that I should write, but never got around to it. I've been writing seriously, for publication for about seven years.

2. What motivates you to write?

I'm obsessed with the crime fiction genre. I read both Christian and secular murder mysteries, police procedurals, and thrillers. It's one of my main interests. I came to believe the Lord had given me this passion for a reason, and that reason was to write. Who-dunits emerged as a creation of the Christian west. These books have always involved a moral dilemma. Early murder mysteries, such as those written by Agatha Christie and Dorothy L. Sayers, were often set in an English country parish with a parson as a character. I think I've always been intrigued by the fight between good and evil in this genre.

3. What is your greatest success?

I consider having finished three manuscripts a success in and of itself. When I began that seemed almost impossible. My biggest outward success is that I've been included in the book and movie reviewing team at The Christian Pulse online magazine. I review a crime fiction novel every month and a movie bi-monthly. My reviews can be found at http://www.thechristianpulse.com/index.php?s=Nike+Chillemi

4. What is your biggest disappointment?

I'm not disappointed that it's so hard to break into writing. The more I write, the more learn about the craft of writing. I see that my early efforts were really quite poor, though, even then my voice peeked through. I think my biggest disappointment is that the business seems to be a bit schizophrenic. Some of the advice new writers get is contradictory. It's hard to know who to listen to. In the end, it's a lonely business. The age of image of a lone writer bent over a typewriter is kinda true.

5. Who are your favorite authors.

James Scott Bell is one of my favorite Christian authors. I am crazy about his lawyer protagonist Ty Buchanan and can't wait to read the second book in the series. I was totally taken in by the imagery and character relationships in Robert Liparulo's Comes A Horseman. And of course there's Ted Dekker. I read Adam and am now in the middle of his Boneman's Daughters. Nobody creates tension like he does.

I also read a few secular crime fiction authors. Michael Connelly was the police beat reporter for the L.A. Times for twenty-five years. His police procedurals have an authenticity that is undeniable. I can't get enough of his Harry Bosch detective series. My other fav is Robert Crais' Elvis Cole-Joe Pike detective series. Elvis is a wise-cracking PI with Joe, a former spec ops Marine, as his silent partner.

5. Which of your writing projects satisfied you the most?

I started writing my historical romantic murder mystery, Burning Heart, kind of on a whim. But it has consumed me and become a truly gratifying experience. I've become enchanted by the post WWII era. It was a time when America had a lotta class and a "can do attitude."

6. What has been the best advice you've been given for writing?

I've been told by three separate well known professionals in the industry to "keep writing." That is the best advice I've been given. Six years ago, I was first told I had a unique voice for suspense and that although my work wasn't ready for publication, I should keep at it. There have been two other "keep writing" comments from publishing professionals, and each one one gets a bit more enthusiastic about my writing.

7. If you could give new writers one piece of advice what would you say?

I'd say write the type of book they'd like to read. If you can't wait to kick back with the latest chic lit book hot off the presses, I wouldn't suggest writing a novel where you drop your missionary heroine into the middle of a battle in Afghanistan. If you live in rural Oklahoma, then don't set your novel in the barrio in New York City, especially not your first novel. Write what you know. If the new writer is a Christian, I'd say without a doubt to start with prayer and ask the Lord what He wants written.

8. Have you had any of your work rejected?

Yes, my first novel, which wasn't that well written, was rejected by more than one publisher. The second novel I submitted, my contemporary murder mystery, was rejected by one of the niche Christian publishers. It was a very nice letter saying what I had written was a police procedural which wasn't what a romance publishing house was looking for. That editor wished me well with getting the book published, just not by them. I'm in the process now of trying to find an agent. I'll be going to my first Christian writing conference this year. People I respect in the industry have advised me to get myself to a conference to become more of a "known quantity" in the industry.

Visit Nikes Blog at:

http://crimefictionandfaith.blogspot.com/

Spring Tryouts - An award winning flash fiction story.

2010-02-20T19:07:00.000-08:00

This is an award winning story I wrote in Flash Fiction. Flash fiction is a complete short story of less than 900 words.

“When I smell the aroma of Spring, I always think of the beginning of baseball season”, Ted spoke out loud to no one in particular, his eyes sparkling with wonder at the field of Fenway Park. As a lifelong Red Sox fan, Ted had always wanted to visit this park, and now he was actually in this historic stadium. To the right stood the infamous Green Monster. At 304 feet, the right field wall was one of the shortest distances in Major League baseball. Hitters were seduced by the short field, but the thirty-seven foot behemoth robbed many great men of their glory.

Ted’s thoughts ran back to his childhood memories of baseball. As a freshman in high school, it was his dream to play baseball, but nature wasn’t kind to him. He was short, skinny, and considered to be more of an egghead than an athlete.

“You don’t have to be an athlete to be somebody”, his mother explained when he decided he wanted to try out. “Besides, at your size, you may get hurt.”

“But I want to play. I can practice until spring and get better. Small kids play baseball and don’t get hurt.”

I will show them. When spring comes I will be in shape and ready.

His equipment was as meager as his talent. All Ted had was a tennis ball, glove, bat, and a concrete wall. He spent his available hours catching the balls the wall returned to him, and swinging at the softball lobs his little sister occasionally pitched for him to hit.

As winter melted into spring, the time came for tryouts for the high school teams. Ted watched the boys warm up, and play catch with their new gloves and slick uniforms. Who am I fooling? I can’t compete with these guys. They look like baseball players and I look like a water-boy.

The only thing that kept Ted on the field was the lingering doubt of ‘what if’. Maybe he wasn’t baseball material, but if he didn’t try, would he regret never knowing. A stern sounding voice interrupted his internal argument.

“What’s your name, son”, inquired Coach Jackson.

“T-Ted McLure.”

“What position are you?”

Ted shrugged as he searched in the gravel for confidence, “Uhm, I dunno. I can play infield or outfield. I guess.”

“You don’t look very fast, so why don’t we give you a shot at the infield.”

A shot? The words had an inspirational ring to them. If he had a shot, the field was level, and all he had to do was perform.

Ted felt small in the space between first and second base, but it seemed like heaven to feel the warm sun and see the beauty of the diamond. He could almost envision the stands filled with cheering parents. The crack of the bat returned his focus. He rushed to close the gap as a sharp grounder whizzed to his right. He lunged and felt the ball in his glove, and then it was gone. I dropped the stupid ball! It was in my glove and I missed it!

A few swings later, a missile launched just to the right. He shuffled over, and it pounded off his cheek after taking a sudden hop. He felt the flames of its impact, but quickly threw it to first base. He swallowed the pain, but couldn’t choke down his humiliation. Ted caught a few easy ones but missed more than he fielded.

I keep getting so close, but they just won’t stay in my glove.

Ted had two at-bats. His first hit popped up and he rounded first base, hustling toward second hoping the ball would somehow find the ground. His disappointment rang with the pop of a glove. On his second at bat, he made good contact and the ball smoked between the shortstop and the third baseman. Ted saw the shortstop make a lunging grab. It would take a perfect throw from his knees, so Ted turned on the afterburners. Just as his foot was about to hit the bag, his hopes burst with the loud clap of the first baseman’s glove.

If I could have just gotten one hit, maybe someone would notice. Ted walked off the field with as much dignity as he could muster. He tried to guard his face from hinting at his anguish. That’s it. Everyone was right. I have no talent, and I’m not meant for baseball.

At the end of tryouts, the coaches made their picks. Coach Johnson approached Ted. “Son, you haven’t played baseball before, have you?”

Ted pawed the dust with the toe of his worn sneakers. “No sir.”

The coach looked down at him, trying to make eye contact. “One thing I have learned is that talent can’t replace heart. I don’t know how much talent you have, but if you will put all your heart in it, I believe you can go far. You may not be the best player, but your hustle shows character. Heart – and a lot of hard work can take you a long way.”

Ted’s thoughts of childhood were suddenly interrupted by a pat on the back and a voice from behind, “Welcome to the Sox, Rookie.”

“Thanks. Standing on this field is a dream come true.”

- Eddie Snipes, 2009

Who says Americans are superficial?

2010-02-18T18:49:00.000-08:00

Eventually someone thinks of something new!Impress your neighbors with Amazing Garage Door Covers!"
A German firm called "Style Your Garage" - creates posters for garage doors that make it look as if it's actually showing the interior of your garage, and what's in it!

Prices range from $199 to $399 for the double-door! All but guaranteed to make passersby take a second look!

And finally…

something to freak out the neighbors, but endear yourself to your fundamentalist friends!

Grab the Nachos, Here Comes the Blizzard

2010-02-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

This has been an unusually cold winter, by Georgia standards. In this region, we are doing well to have one winter storm a year, but in the last month, we’ve had three. The bad news about southern snow is that the temperature is rarely below freezing when snow begins, so the early snow melts, and then refreezes into a slick hazard. Non-southern drivers are sometimes caught off guard by the ice hidden beneath the snow.

When the winter weather predictions start rolling in, it is always preceded by a squall line of panic. The very thought of snow causes mass school closings and a fight for survival at the grocery store. People battle over bread, batteries, and milk in the fear that starvation might begin before the next sunrise when the snow melts off the streets. Being the seasoned southern weather survivor I am, I’ve learned that the only thing needed is a video and a bag of nachos.

I didn’t take one of our disaster scares seriously this year until I headed to the grocery store to pick up cold medicine for a sick child. During the drive, I heard that a major airline had cancelled three hundred flights, and others were following the lead. It was forty degrees outside and slightly overcast. When I walked into the store, I saw bare shelves, and what looked like a cage fight over the last loaf of bread. Now I was beginning to worry. Was it possible that we could get snowed in overnight, and I didn’t have a bag of nachos?

Behind the raging sea of humanity, past the barren bread racks, were the chips. When I saw a space in the battle lines, I tiptoed over the bodies of the wounded, snatched up a bag of Tostitos, grabbed a jar of cheese, and dodged attacks as I headed to the checkout. Medicine and nachos. Bring it on, mother nature! My preparedness warded off the storm, and we just got rain. These nachos would have to wait for the next storm.

False weather alarms are not uncommon in Georgia. I’m reminded of a major winter storm that was to hit many years ago. We gathered around the TV to watch the twenty-four hour news coverage. This was going to be a big one! My survival instincts had already kicked in, and I was in front of the TV, Tostitos in hand. The news broadcast rotated around Atlanta as each anchor reported on what they were seeing. At this point, it was darkness, with scattered lights. No rain. No snow. It is interesting to watch reporters fill up airtime with non-information, while trying to sound dramatic. Georgia Power and the Department of Transportation had men on standby, ready to pounce on the storm, once it pounced on Atlanta. They were interviewed so many times that they began hiding from the reporters.

It was now several hours past the time when the storm was supposed to have dumped its disabling cargo on the city, but we were still waiting, nachos in hand. Then it happened. A major break in the storm! The keen eye of the reporter was the first to spot it. “Do you see it?” she announced with excitement. Bending down, she picked a blade of green grass and said, “Zoom in and get a close shot at this. Do you see the ice crystals forming on this blade of grass?”

Panic surged through my body, and I called out to the kitchen, “It looks bad, honey. Are you sure we have enough nachos?” I knew I should have gotten some batteries, too! But I ignored my instincts. There, before my eyes, rotating in front of the camera was a blade of grass with frost. How great a winter storm a little frost can kindle. At any moment, that frosty scout would signal back to the storm to begin the invasion. I poked out my chest and let my southern pride flow. Only in the south can we spot frost on such a small blade in the winter grass. A northerner would have passed over a field of frost without even noticing.

The storm never came. Apparently, the discovery of the crystals on the grass warded off the whole invasion. Crews were in their trucks, ready to roll, but the only ice was on the turf under their boots. I consumed my nachos in defeat, and turned off the TV. It was dark outside, but I could see frost glistening on the grass under the streetlight. The landing zone was prepared, but the storm was not coming in. Another disaster averted, thanks to the vigilance of a few southern reporters.

Old man winter has surprised us a few times this year. A month ago I had to abandon my car and traverse the slick snow covered ice on the hill in my neighborhood by foot. A month later, I was wading through toe-deep snow. Just remember two rules necessary to survive southern winters. First, drive slow. There is ice under that snow. Second, the roads will melt by midday. Two days at worst. All that is needed to endure is something to pass the time, and a little food for thought. Up north, you might need survival supplies, but down here, nachos and a movie will suffice. That, and a t-shirt boasting about how you survived the latest southern blizzard.

War for the Roses

2010-02-13T02:22:00.000-08:00

Jay Leno once said, “It’s Valentines Day. Or as men call it, Extortion Day.”

When romantic days draw near, married men break into a sweat. Romance was easier when love was new, but after nineteen years of marriage, all card bearing days have become a challenge. I find myself in the same predicament each anniversary, Valentines Day, Christmas, Mothers Day, and each of the other fourteen days that require an over-priced card. I stare at the cards, and have déjà vu, all over again. All the cards look familiar and I worry that I’m about to buy a card I’ve already given her. I think about surprising us both, and grabbing one at random. I’ve heard nightmare stories about men buying the first pretty card that comes along, only to find that it says something like, “To my favorite mother-in-law.” I’ll never do that again, uh, I mean, what kind of an idiot doesn’t read the card.

When I browse through the cards, it becomes a battle of finding the right words, without throwing fuel on any simmering coals. When I was dating, any fuel for the fire was good, but after nearly two decades of being a husband, I have created a few fires that don’t need stoking. Apparently, I’m not the only man who has created a few touchy memories. Single men have all the good cards, but most of the cards for wives say something like, “I know I haven’t been a good husband, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t loved you with all I have” or, “Though I haven’t said ‘I love you’ in twenty five years, you should know I care.”

Though these touching cards moved me, I wasn’t sure that it was a good idea to give a romantic card that reminded the wife of shortcomings. After wiping a tear from my eye and fanning my emotions away, I thought it better to keep digging through the cards for something more uplifting than an apology that was self-justifying.

Humor doesn’t always play well in wife cards. Since I couldn’t find just the right card, one year I decided to print my own. I wrote what I thought was a cute little poem to share the memories of our years together.

My garden is green,

Our house smells like diaper poo.

I'm lucky to have

A sweetheart like you.

You're voice is so pretty,

Like the birds overhead.

You're hotter than fire ants

Attacking my head.

Your love's like the ocean,

My heart I bequeath

When you sit in my lap,

I swear, I can't breathe.

I lay awake at night,

Listening to your teeth grind.

I'm forever yours,

And you're forever mine.

For some reason, she wasn’t moved. Now each Valentines Day, I’m in the stores, struggling through the scattered cards, and battling over roses. I watched a man rush in with a panicked look on his face, grab the first card he saw, and bolt for the counter. I had already viewed it, so I stopped him to ask if this was for his mother-in-law. He thanked me for saving his skin and grabbed a card for a daughter. He was gone before I could stop him.

I finally found the perfect card. Not mushy enough to cause dry heaves, nothing to remind her of annoyances, but a card that diverts her toward sentiment. I turned it over and gasped, “Six dollars? This is robbery!” I then thought about the effects. This isn’t just a card. It’s a magnifying glass that helps her focus, for a brief moment, only on the fond memories connected to the prose of the card.

Jules Renard once said, “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” Perhaps this is the secret to love. If a man can get his wife’s heart full, she’ll forget about all the things that annoy her. When life turns her upside down, the challenge is to use love to get her back on her feet.

Happy Valentines Day.

Eddie Snipes

Daddy's in the crib!

2010-02-09T15:49:00.000-08:00

I've been there many times, but never climbed into a crib. Got to give them credit, they bought a sturdy crib.

Now That’s Academics!

2010-02-08T21:21:00.000-08:00

I graduated in the top ninety-eight percent of my class. That’s what I tell people, because it’s true, and it sounds good. Most people say, “Wow. You must be smart.”

Ninety-eight percent covers all but the lowest two percent of the student body; therefore, it could place me anywhere between the top of the class, and the bottom three percent of the class. I’ll let you make a guess as to where on the scale I landed. Let’s just say that I’m the guy who went to college to become a wit, but only got half-way done.

When employed in the IT department at Delta Technologies, a woman I worked with lamented over her sixteen-year-old son. “He’s going to be a bum,” she said. She explained how poorly he did in school, and that he never applied himself to academics. While I recounted my high school days, her eyes lit up. She was so delighted with my poor performance that she exclaimed, “You don’t know how much hope you’ve given me!”

How exciting! My pathetic school performance had become an inspiration to others! And my high school counselor said I wouldn’t amount to anything.

I had risen to become one of the top performing techs, but the truth is that I did not take academics seriously until my mid-twenties. Unexpected crisis’s jolted me into the reality that I didn’t want to work in a warehouse for the rest of my life. My mid-life crisis began on the first half of my life. I did very well in academics once I realized that there was a goal behind the effort. When I first applied for school, I looked at my high school transcript. I achieved a 1.8 GPA. I felt embarrassed to submit it with my application. I thought back on my high school days and wondered that I even graduated. If you have a son, daughter, or sibling that seems hopeless and destined to become a bum, take a stroll with me down memory lane.

“You can’t write this research paper with less than seventy reference cards,” my teacher stated.

Her name was Mrs. Blackwell, and she was a hard teacher. I counted the reference cards in my hand. Seven. Three weeks of research had only produced seven reference cards. A mere tenth of the minimum required to write this paper. Maybe I shouldn’t have played paper football and tic-tac-toe with my friend, Tim. We had the same academic goals. Our mission was to graduate without repeating a grade, while putting forth the least amount of effort. We had several classes together, each with similar results. Reading assignments were things we never considered. I would have read those books if it hadn’t required me to cut into my personal time. The time I spent at school avoiding work is also considered personal time, right?

I thought back to our Mythology class when a teacher gave a one-question-pop-quiz. It counted a full test grade. She assured us that anyone who read the lesson would have no problem with the test. That was like telling a politician, “As long as you cut spending, the deficit will go down.” It’s not going to happen. She might as well have told us to build a bridge over the Grand Canyon.

I don’t remember the story (imagine that), but the assignment was to explain how two people fell in love. My friend and I looked at each other with blank expressions, and he shrugged. I said the only thing that popped into my mind, “It was love at first sight.” We both had a good laugh, and I wrote the answer on my paper.

“You aren’t really going to turn that in, are you?” Tim asked.

I certainly was. After all, it was better than a blank sheet.

We both grabbed our chests when the answer was revealed – It was love at first sight. Yeah! My best score of the class!

Now I needed another miracle. I needed to write a thirty-page research paper, in one night, with seven reference cards. Cards that I created through my personal research. I had spent hours, uh, I mean minutes reading periodicals and books on my subject. It was due tomorrow and the sun was already setting on my world of procrastination. Since it was half my grade, I had no choice but to sacrifice an evening of watching Lavern and Shirley, and Happy Days. I wrote the paper, and the creative juices started to flow. About midnight, I smiled a sigh of relief, stacked my papers, and went to bed feeling good about my accomplishments. I had stretched each half-naked 3x5 card into just over four pages each, and passed with a C. Now that’s academics!

I continued my excellence in academics in my history class. My teacher, Coach Collins, was passionate about this subject and had read every book in the school library, making it impossible to fabricate a book report. I had him at least once in each of my four years of high school, and squeaked by with a D in each class. He always knew what to expect of me, or so he thought.

One day, I was lying on my bedroom floor, bored out of my mind. I rolled over to see my history book. How it managed to get from the school to my house is a mystery to this day. I started flipping through and looking at pictures. A picture caught my attention, and I read the caption. I then did something that was beyond miraculous – I read the chapter. The next day, Coach Collins announced that we were going to have a pop test. Then he did something unusual. As he prepared to call out the questions, he said, “I just want you all to know, that Eddie is the only one I called to let know we are having a pop test today.”

Why he made such a statement, I do not know. Guess what our test was on? Yep. The very chapter I’d read the night before. I didn’t even know what chapter we were studying until the test began. I couldn’t believe it. He was asking questions that I knew! He graded the tests, and the highest score in the class was thirty-percent, except one person. Yes, I scored a hundred-percent. The A students were livid. How could he have called me?

Of course, he didn’t. But to show him that I was a good sport, I stood up and said, “I just want to thank Coach Collins for calling me last night. This is the best score I’ve gotten all year!”

Eddie Snipes

Slysdexics are Teople Poo

2010-02-06T20:34:00.000-08:00

I didn’t even know how to spell dyslexia until I found out I are one. Once, when making a joke about dyslexia, a woman scolded me, saying that it was degrading, offensive, and I shouldn’t make fun of people who struggle with this problem. To which I replied, “I joke for my apologize.”

Since I was born and raised in the town of Dyslexia, I retain the right to joke about myself, and the people in our exclusive community. If you are one of those rare people who are unaware of it, Dyslexia is a condition where numbers, words, and other facts have a tendency of getting scrambled in our minds. For most of my life, I was unaware of my condition, or that it was fairly common. As a young boy, I saw a commercial about dyslexia where a boy looked at various street signs and saw what looked like a game of Jumble. I was grateful that when I looked at road signs, I didn’t see SOPT HADEA like those poor kids with dyslexia did. That translates into STOP AHEAD in case you're confused.

For years, I wondered why I made such careless mistakes when writing words and numbers. I would right things like, “When I eat pees, it makes my stomach fill fowl.” By the way, if you don’t see anything wrong with that sentence, welcome to the club! Homophones are enemies of dyslexics, and the above example is the most common struggle I have with writing. Anyone who writes knows that you are to let the thoughts flow, and then go back and edit later. Finding homophones are a challenge, since they are words that sound the same as the word you intended to use.

I have made an interesting observation about my dyslexia over the years. When copying information, if I say it as I write, I catch most errors. I may say it wrong, and write it correctly, or say it right while writing it incorrectly, but I never seem to scramble both at the same time. I don’t know why this is so, but apparently the audio / visual department and the printing department in my brain are not plugged into the same database.

Dyslexia can have its benefits. When I was in the Army, I had the worst job of my life. I was in charge of signing out weapons and equipment for training. I had long hours and little freedom. The commander wanted each item signed out without taking the time to verify serial numbers, but also required that every serial number be accurately accounted for. The stress was tremendous. You may already suspect what happens when a dyslexic is put in charge of writing down hundreds of serial numbers in a short time.

One day, an inspector showed up to compare our inventory with what was issued. Each arms room was inspected several times a year, and it was counted toward the commander’s effectiveness. Out of hundreds of entries, I was amazed to find out that only one number was transposed. I felt quite satisfied, but the inspector did not share my enthusiasm. The arms room failed its inspection. Within the hour, I was sitting in a room with several officers to give an account for my failure.

There was talk about removing me from the arms room, and then my commander looked at me and said, “I know you failed on purpose.”

Everyone hated this duty, so it was a logical assumption. I started to open my mouth to plead my case, but fortunately I stopped my words. They were talking about firing me from the arms room – the job I hate. Maybe I should wait to see the ramifications before pleading my case. I was moved to a more tolerable task, and army life was brighter – thanks to my dyslexic mistake.

The challenges are amplified when I am facing things that are closely related. I’ve already mentioned homophones, but names can be a problem. I have five children, and that is too many options to sort through. If I guess wrong, I just say, “Whoever you are, get over here.” Lord help me if my sister and wife are in the same room. My sister’s name is Judie. That begins with a ‘J’, and ends with ‘ie’. My wife’s name is Jennie. Do you see any similarities? When they are in the same room together, my eyes start crossing and I vibrate until a hole blows through the back of my head.

After the steam quits belching out, I look at my daughter, Natalie and say, “Sophia, it’s time to quit playing, and put your yots away. You and your sisters get in the home, and let’s go car before I get dain bramage.”

Eddie Snipes

Oh no! My child is talking!

2010-02-04T11:38:00.000-08:00

Have you noticed that kids often say the strangest things? It wouldn’t be so bad, if not for the fact that my children carry my last name, thus making it undeniable that I bear some of the responsibility for what pops out of their mouths. Sometimes they repeat things we would rather that they had not heard, and sometimes they blurt out things that we swear they didn’t hear in our household.

When my eldest daughter, Emily, was four years old, she wanted Daddy to play with her Barbie and playhouse. With my keen imagination, I lay on my back and made my doll dance back and forth while her doll did all the talking. My only lines were to say, “Okay,” and “Oh!” That covered any possible situation. Questions were all answered by “Okay,” and “Oh” covered everything else.

Her doll approached mine and said, “Let’s do the dishes.”

After giving serious thought to the proposition, my Barbie did a little jig and said, “Okay.” My part was done.

Her Barbie pranced over to the kitchen, picked up a little Barbie dish, dropped it, and shouted, “Oh darn!” Only she didn’t say darn. It might take some brainpower, but you can probably figure out what the word was.

This gave me a small glimpse into my wife’s recent experiences in the kitchen. I stroked my chin and thought, I’ll bet mommy has recently broken a dish. And she probably wasn’t too happy about it.

Not every thing that blurts out of their little mouths is an imitation of actual home experiences. I have another daughter whose imagination blossomed when she hit that magic age of four. Her name is Sophia. I came home from work one day to find her crawling around the kitchen while apparently barking at the ceiling. After observing this strange behavior for a few minutes, I asked, “Sophia, what are you doing?”

She looked at me and said in a serious voice, “I’m a dog who got hit by a train, and now his head is turned around backwards.”

I stroked my chin and thought, I don’t think she learned that from her mother. At least I hope not. Sophia and her younger sister are constantly pretending to be various characters. Pretending isn’t enough. They must tell you what character’s role they are playing, and they’ll repeat this notification until an acknowledgment is received. They are programmed to broadcast their ID indefinitely until they receive the proper response. They also have built in error checking and rebroadcast their identity every five minutes to insure that information is not lost or forgotten.

Sophia’s character is often related to the latest show our family is watching. We watched Sherlock Holmes, and, lo and behold, a younger version of the bugger appeared in our midst. He looked strangely like Sophia, but the child insisted on being addressed by her… I mean his, proper name. For several weeks, we heard, “I’m Sherlock Holmes.” He demanded to be recognized so often that I was beginning to think the crime sleuth was insecure with his identity. This was during the holiday season and my wife was giving a lesson on Christmas. She told the nativity story as she said, “…Mary brought forth her firstborn Son and laid Him in a manger.”

When my wife paused to take a breath, Sophia seized the moment she had been waiting for by blurting out, “Yeah, and I’m Sherlock Holmes.”

Somehow, the Christmas story didn’t have the same appeal when Sherlock was mixed into the dialog.

Abigail, my two-year-old daughter has taken to the make believe world as well. The real Abigail has been absent for some time as she pretends to be various characters. Sometimes she forgets the name of her character, so she asks, “Who are me?”

I then have to call out names until I identify the correct character, and then she repeats it back until one or both parents give an acknowledgment of her identity.

My middle daughter had her moments as well. When she was five, we had recently moved and were looking for a church. We visited a nearby church, and as the service wrapped up, a long-winded man was asked to pray. He prayed, and prayed, and prayed. Most of his prayer was about himself, and apparently he felt the need to keep asking God to bless him. It was ten minutes into his petition for blessings that Natalie reached her tolerance level. She looked toward me and shouted, “Is he ever going to shut up?”

Her words echoed through the church and people began to stir. Several people were shaking with laughter, and the man took her blunt comment as a sign from God to end his prayer.

Lucy, who is now fourteen, holds the record for the worst comment ever blurted by my five children. She was four. (Do you see a pattern here?) Church ended and we chatted as we worked our way out the door. As I held Lucy, a woman walked up and leaned close to her and said, “Aren’t you just the prettiest thing?”

Lucy made the most repulsive expression as she pressed her nose down with her hand. She slowly, and dramatically turned to me and said, “Her breath smells like poopy diapers!”

We stood in an awkward silence and I wondered, What can I say? Good luck with that? Want a baby wipe? I thought about the tic-tacs in my pocket, then dismissed the thought. It probably wouldn’t have been received as a friendly gesture.

The good news is that three of my daughters are old enough to speak in public without me wishing I had a broadcast kill switch. The bad news is, I have a two year old who loves to blurt things out. When she’s four, what thoughtful words will erupt from her little mouth before I can hand her off to her mother and pretend to be a passive observer? Not even Sherlock Holmes can guess what words will escape from the mouths of my children. When they speak their minds, perhaps I’ll have my tic-tacs ready and stick to the only words that come to mind, “Good luck with that.”

Eddie Snipes

Authentic Leadership

2010-02-02T16:20:00.000-08:00

It's a Secret

2010-02-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

After watching my younger children fidgeting with anticipation this past holiday season, I remember the joys of Christmas as a young boy. The magic of Christmas seemed to fade as I reached adulthood, but the excitement returns each time the sparkle in my kids’ eyes remind me of those fond memories. My children are amazed when I describe the types of toys we had. My sister ignited our senses with her Easy Bake Oven as its light bulb baked its single serving cakes. I performed with my TV Magic game as my parents pretended to be surprised at my poorly rehearsed tricks.

I like to underwhelm my kids with the descriptions of our first electronic games. I tell them how amazed we were when Pong came out in 1972. We would stand at the display counter at Sears and entertain ourselves by turning a dial to move a line of light back and forth to hit a square dot, hoping our opponent would miss. My sister would fly in a rage when I ran the dial back and forth, creating a blur of light that she was convinced was cheating her out of a point. The strategy never worked, but I would always try it. Maybe it was just fun hearing my sister protest.

I’m convinced that our Perfection game was designed to give children posttraumatic disorders. We rushed to fit the twenty-five pieces into their spot as the sixty-second timer reminded us of our eminent doom. My excitement would rise as I had only two shapes to go, then twenty-three pieces would fly at my face with a bang, causing me to jump out of my socks.

One Christmas my sister was given a new kind of doll. It had plush skin made out of rubber that felt almost like real skin. Most of the time, her dolls had the natural look. Without clothes, they basked on the floor under the sixty watt lights. I don’t remember exactly how I discovered it, but I found that if I poked the doll with a sharpened pencil tip, it made an interesting gray pattern. I decided to give her new doll the measles. It was only pencil lead, so I figured the dots could be erased when it was time to recover from the measles. Unfortunately, the gray measles turned out to be incurable.

After realizing my mistake, I decided to cover my tracks by putting the clothes back on the doll. I dressed her and tucked the doll into bed before making my escape, hoping my sister wouldn’t notice. She did. Within minutes after walking in the door, agonizing screams came from her room and she ran down the hall crying, “Look what Eddie did to my doll.” She visualized a violent act and to this day, she swears that she saw me stabbing her doll like a serial killer.

The highlight of Christmas for me was when my grandparents would arrive in their Chevro-sleigh and bring in wrapped presents from grandma’s workshop. My sister and I would sit under the tree with our cousins identifying which ones had our names. Presents would not be opened until after dinner and we could not wait. We would beg to open just one, and my grandfather would tease me by saying, “Pick out a present and I’ll let you know what is in it.” I would grab the most promising looking package and return. He would study it and lean over saying he needed to whisper it in my ear. I inclined to listen closely and he would say, “It is….a secret.” I would bounce and beg for the real answer. He pretended to relent, but then he’d tell me the same thing before giving a jolly laugh.

Today I have the privilege of seeing that same delight in my own children. They bounce with excitement as we visit their grandparents and try to identify their names under the tree. Sometimes the anticipation of the contents behind the wrapper causes them to beg to open just one. I can’t let them, but I do tell them what is inside – it is…a secret!

- Eddie

I wonder why business is down?

2010-02-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

At least they are honest :)

Crossing my eyes and dotting my T's

2010-02-02T14:54:00.000-08:00

I've held out as long as humanly possible. I've got a website, but the blogisphere has been stalking me, peeking from behind every URL, and following me each time I took a drive down the information superhighway. I interact with my website, but for some reason, it won't interact with me. Nor with anyone else for that matter.

For years I thought a Blog was something that dwells in the jungles of Peru, but it turns out, it is a jungle and now I am its dweller. So 'Eddie's Word Turnings' is my little patch in this blogspot jungle. Climb around in the trees and see if you can find something good to pick, but watch out for mosquito bytes.

Eddie

PS, if you have a writing related blog, contact me and we can share urls.